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Yours truly has been busy of late, so we are doing a Gwen's Greatest Hits Saturday this week. She has already sent me the next few, so I have work to do!

All of us struggle with fear and worry from time to time. In fact, in many cases, fear is actually a good and healthy thing. It causes us to wear seatbelts and try to eat healthy. It keeps us from doing things that will hurt us, like getting too close to a fire or jumping into a lion’s cage at the zoo.

It’s also natural to be concerned about our health, bank account, job status, children, and more. When something threatens one of those things, we take notice. We work hard to protect ourselves and those we love.

In some ways, fear is both a natural and helpful part of what it means to be human.

But if fear gets out of control, it can take over and prevent us from enjoying life. When we’re consumed by fear, we can’t be present for others or do the things we love. Overwhelming fear affects our health, saps our strength, makes it difficult to concentrate, and robs us of sleep.

So does FEAR have to win?  NO WAY!

My answer is this…

Life is about ENERGY MANAGEMENT.  You STARVE that which you want to lessen or eliminate and you feed that which you want to thrive. Simple ya?

Have you ever felt the debilitating fear if getting dressed to go out yet you stood transfixed staring at the front door, and you can’t seem to raise your arm to turn the know and open the door?  I think we all have had that happen.

Fear also keeps us from fulfilling our dreams to feminize. If we’re afraid, we won’t take the next step, walk in public, tell a spouse or loved one or any number of similar things.  Fear becomes like a brick wall.

Eventually we’ll constantly play it safe, always trying to insulate ourselves from any negative consequences. When we play it safe, we don’t grow. We stagnate. We miss out on what we really desire.

We can’t run from fear or simply hope it goes away. There will always be something to worry about. If we’re going to successfully navigate the often-difficult femme world in which we live, we need effective strategies for coping with worry and fear. We must be able to deal with our anxieties in healthy and productive ways.

Franklin D. Roosevelt famously said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” And while this isn’t 100% true (there are real things to fear), his point is well made. Fear holds us back from living life to the fullest. We must learn how to overcome our fears, so we can move toward the things we desire.

By not giving FEAR the fuel it needs to survive and taking that energy you’re reserving for fear and moving it over to feed your FEMME, you’ve begun the TRANSFER OF POWER.

When dealing with your own struggles, it’s important to understand the source of your fear.

The fundamental truth is that most fear is a response to an imagined reality.

As the author Mark Twain said: “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

I’ve compiled 20 questions to ask yourself as it relates to your FEMME BREAKTHROUGH.🐛🦋

🔥 What exactly am I afraid of?

🔥 Why am I afraid of it?

🔥 What negative outcomes am I imagining?

🔥 What thoughts am I trying to avoid?

🔥 When do I feel most afraid?

🔥 What things trigger my fear?

🔥 How is this fear hurting my relationships?

🔥 How is it keeping me from being happy?

🔥 How is it hindering me from achieving my desire to feminize?

🔥 How is it taking me out of the present?

🔥 How is it affecting my health?

🔥 What femme opportunities will I miss out on if I give into my fear?

 🔥 How would it change my life if I wasn’t afraid and I took the next step?

 🔥 Which elements of this fear are NOT under my control?

 🔥 Am I wasting time and energy on things I can’t control?

🔥 Which things are under my control?

 🔥 What actions will I take to reduce the biological symptoms of fear (exercise, breathing)?

 🔥 How can I replace fear with gratitude?

 🔥 What steps will I take to feed my femme and be mindful and present?

🔥 Who can I enlist to help me overcome my fears (friend, therapist, girlfriend/s)?

Courage is not the absence of fear. A person who never feels fear isn’t courageous, they’re crazy. The world can be a pretty scary place and there are lots of reasons to feel afraid.

Courage is feeling afraid and acting anyway. Courageous people acknowledge their fears and then move forward to overcome them.

👉Nelson Mandela said it this way:

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

It’s okay to feel fear or worry but avoid letting them get the best of you. Don’t let anxiety keep you from living the femme life of your dreams.💋

Be Strong. 💪

Gwen Patrone


4 Responses

  1. Gwen,
    I appreciate it’s a serious topic and you make many valid points but I hope you don’t mind a more humourous side . I love skiing but I wondered where the term to ” shushh ” down the slopes came from ? I discovered the answer when I took the wrong ski lift and found I was standing at the top of a black run , all the way down I was saying SH** this is crazy !!! It’s then when we discover how true your words are , through my mistake I didn’t fear black runs anymore but also using common sense I didn’t intentionally search them out .

    At times the transgender community are a very odd breed , we know we are going to take risks , sometimes inexplicably so considering the rewards we may achieve . We know the world could come crashing in around us but but how many of us live for that rush of adrenaline ? The need to experience something the majority of other males will never comprehend . On occasions I’ve been called courageous , I no longer see it that way but the first few days of going fulltime were full of so many emotions , everyday pushing back fear but as you comment those fears are mostly inside our heads . The one wonderful aspect I discovered was that people want you to succeed , they’re on your side even if they don’t fully understand . I admit even now I still push the envelope basically because I want to prove to myself and others we can live a normal life in society with our adopted gender .

  2. Hi Teresa,

    Yes you are spot on with your comments.

    I call the adrenaline rush, “The Pink Cloud” as I read in my friends book, “Living with Crossdressing” from Savannah Hauk.

    Many of us love that feeling. I know I crave it and on occasion seek it out. Life feels boring when I’m not female.

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