It was July 14, 2021 and another improv class! I decided to have some fun beforehand with another selfie photo shoot while debuting the new Kandi’s Land merchandise!
You will see a few of the photos here in this post. I have already and will continue to add some to the Gallery page and use them when the spirit moves me.
As before, the shoot was a blast and again, as before, I had the entire place to myself. I looked for different and unusual camera angles and could not have enjoyed myself any more.
Then I drove to class and had dinner at The Burntwood Tavern, where I have acquired yet another bartender friend (see a trend here?). An hour well spent.
Finally the evening wrapped with improv class. Always fun and this time I got to do a scene with the instructor. I was so much better with someone who knew what they were doing, which gave me time to think a bit better on my feet.
So here we go with some more pics!
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Random Thoughts: Look, I know I am blessed to be able to dress as often as I do. But in many ways, it’s like giving an alcoholic one drink. They want more. I want more. With the pandemic restrictions lifting, I am seeking new and different ways to get out dressed. I am going to different places than I did before. I am seeking to find different experiences. That is why I did the movie thing. That is why I am working on what I hope will be a spectacular bridal photo shoot. That was the great joy of my afternoon at the selfie studio, the evidence of which you see above. That is why I am taking an improv class.
In a perfect world, I would be Kandi all the time. I do prefer this version of myself in general. (Although in a really perfect world, I would not have these feelings, thereby having Kandi never exist.) But we don’t live in a perfect world, there is no magic pill. And I will admit, I go back and forth on this all the time. I have a friend, whom I love, that on occasion will call BS on me. But I put my thoughts down on “paper” so to speak, for anyone to read it. And it changes based on current circumstances.
And we have circumstances, blessings, curses, we have made commitments, taken vows and all those mean something. So I will strive to be better, seek ways to be an example and keep trying to find inner peace and contentment because believe me, there is none right now. Self-acceptance, absolutely, thereby eliminating the old self-loathing and guilt. But peace and contentment? No way!
14 Responses
Your “random thoughts” are very powerful ❤️
Every so often, I say something worthwhile! Thanks my friend!!
Kandi,
Again You have revealed a TRUTH with your comment about giving an alcoholic a drink. i have said in many (Well Several of my writings) that the more I am Marie THE MORE I AM MARIE. it is no longer an addiction or occasional urge but has become an accepted norm somewhere above 70 % of waking hours and even higher in the sleeping hours. Getting dressed in the morning is totally a function of what is on schedule for the day. On the days when obligations are NIL the day often becomes a multi-Marie activities and this different outfits. Just Love it.
I do enjoy being a Girl.
Marie Anne
I am a great speaker of truth! Thanks my dear!!
Kandi, I absolutely agree with the sentiment you expressed. If I were able to dress more frequently, I would want to dress even more frequently. Sometimes I think I could handle coming out at work, as my company is very accepting and has a network of LGBTQ+ employees. But then reality sets in, and I retreat into my self-imposed closet, only to come out when the planets align (i.e., very rarely!). Cute t-shirt and shorts!
There is nothing easy about all of this. I find great joy in it yet always have my doubts.
All I can say Tina is we’re all in this together.
Love you!
Kandi my friend you do just the cutest photos, love this one especially.
Guys just can’t do this kind of stuff.
I know you don’t care for labels but in my book you are transgender, I’m not sure you have ever stated as such but by definition you are, as am I
No I don’t do en fem every day but most days I do but I’m still trans. I guess for me it gives me a since of self and being able to accept that I am different and it’s ok to be such.
Love ya Rach
Rach, no argument, but I do think of myself as bi-gender. I have no problem being male and many of my male activities I prefer to my female activities. But I cannot deny the pull to being Kandi and all that she has become. Love you my dear!!
Kandi,
Oh so true. The more I dress and go out into the world the more I want to. I get braver every time. Thank you for your empowerment.
All I did is shine a very small light. You took the initiative, you had the courage, you did the heavy lifting, so to speak! Well done darling!!
Kandi,
Interesting thought about giving an alcoholic a drink and wanting more , so do you see it as an addiction at times ? I recall when I dressed occasionally I always wanted more , at times it was hard to explain why .
Obviously the situation is different for me now I have what you ponder over fulltime , if I liken it to a drink now I would consider being male as given a poison chalice .
This is really what Kandi’s Land is about , you express your thoughts which are well considered , it makes us think about our own situations and gives strength to those who doubt their own needs and convictions . Please don’t stop doing it !!
Teresa, Don’t worry, I ain’t going nowhere! Not many can appreciate this, but I am currently at The Lake Erie Gala and it appears some folks like our little community here.
Not sure it’s an addiction, but is has all the same earmarks as that. Addictions often fill a need or a void in one’s life, this is no different in that case.
Kandi,
Yes, sometimes the more you do something the more you want to do it. Such is life.
A few weeks ago I fell into the thin-tiny-gold finger ring rabit hole. Along with my longer almond shape acrylic gel nails, the stacking of 3-4 rings on several fingers make my hands look very feminine. And its very additive.
Cali
😊