By Maddie Smith

I hadn’t intended to write a part three in this series until thinking about my day afterwards. When I stopped and contemplated the significance of what had just happened, I knew I had to put it into words, even if just for my own satisfaction, to record the event and remember it later.

Back a step or two. The first piece that I had graciously published by Kandi covered the very first time I let my now wife see me dressed. As in, fully dressed and made up. She was totally agreeable to doing so whenever I was ready, and on this momentous day (for all the wrong reasons as it would transpire) she would meet Maddie.

I’ve explained before, my darling discovered Maddie, and the love of my life is the smartest, most practical woman I’ve ever met, one who has blossomed in recent years, for which I can take some of the credit. The ability was always there, she just needed someone on her side encouraging her, rather than doing what the opposite of that is. I won’t get started on that subject …

So, to see my beautiful clever girl in tears, and stressed out by the whole thing, hurt me more than I could say. Short version of the full article, Maddie was pretty much put back in the box that night.

We figured it out over the following few days. For some reason N arrived home to a woman she didn’t recognise, after leaving the guy she loved that morning. She felt like she was cheating … And yes, we both agreed that was a crazy reaction, but the real issue proved to be the complete change to Maddie without being there through the steps.

I made things worse by suggesting she do our forthcoming makeup lesson alone and that Maddie would be relegated to history. Never make a unilateral decision. That was my biggest mistake.

The one positive for me, and it brought a smile to my face whenever I thought about it, was that she saw a woman waiting at the door to greet her! I was clearly making progress.

Which brings us to the story. N was having some time off after Easter, so I asked her if she would come with me for lesson two with the new makeup artist and then, the big one, go out for lunch and shopping afterwards. The answer was yes, of course.

To explain another amazing thing she did, the reason she wasn’t there for my first ever time out was that she didn’t want to be a distraction. If we had run into someone we know that would have been difficult. Any wonder I’ve married her?

So, the plan was that she would be our model for the lesson. I’d do one side, the MUA would do the other side. Then we would head out for brunch. I waited very impatiently for the day to arrive.

When it comes to preparation, I need a few days, mostly in the name of hair removal. To set the scene, in normal life I’d fit in as the ZZ Top drummer better than Frank Beard does. I’ll leave you with that image … I started earlier this time and did a makeup test on myself a few days before the outing as a) I planned to do my makeup before we left home to save time (the MUA would fix my mistakes …) and b) I needed to time how long everything was going to take. Not a pretty result – a 5am start was needed!

I sent my test images to E (the makup artist) and her exact response was “you look just like another woman”. How could you not love her with a comment like that!

And so, finally, the morning arrived. I don’t know about you girls but the last time in my life I can remember being so excited about waiting for morning was when I was a kid on Christmas Eve. Well, there may also have been one or two dates in the intervening years that kept me awake with excitement …

I recently had an email conversation with Kandi where I mentioned that I had over-shaved in preparation for my last time out. She says you can’t overdo it. Oh yes you can, and I was proof positive of that! In the intervening weeks I had been working on finding products to improve the situation (as an aside, hair removal cream won’t shift one single hair on my chest, that’s what I was dealing with …) and that wouldn’t set off such a reaction. I found a great shaving cream plus N set me up with the most awesome razor for arms and legs. US products too, so no tariffs for you girls … I sense another article coming. With shaving done and a much happier chest, it was dressing and makeup time.

In the intervening weeks I had made one more change – I had ordered new shapewear. Proper stuff. The good stuff. From Rago in the US. The NZ$ to US$ exchange rate isn’t pretty so I didn’t look too hard at my bank account afterwards … (or last night when I ordered another piece – it is that good).

We are also on a major weight loss drive around here at the moment. We are both down by close to 20lbs and the difference, combined with the shapewear, is just off the chart. I told N the challenge is to get to the point where we can both head out together each in an LBD and look hot. That time may be getting closer than I realised, although there’s another 30 pounds to go.

Time disappeared rapidly but I had the makeup looking pretty good (the photo on the steps was as we left) and even if the neighbours had seen us leave, I wouldn’t have been too concerned. There is something cool about sitting in peak traffic knowing that every car driving past can see you and yet being completely comfortable with that. And I was.

The lesson was great! N looked fabulous afterwards and for me it was a whole new experience to work on someone else. I highly recommend it. Apprentice makeup artist! After the MUA fixed everything I did on N (!) it was my turn in the chair. She reworked my lipstick and changed the contouring a bit. The only major mistake was that she had given me a luminizer to use and I had overdone that. Then it was time to head out with the girls, which is the whole reason I do this.

We ended up at the same café as the previous time as the food and coffee were great. It was school holidays so there were far more people around and that meant no parking, necessitating a longer walk in heels, something I was actually happy about! I’d have felt cheated if we had found parking outside the door. We had a wonderful brunch, and I tried not to talk too much, which gave the other two girls a great chance to get to know each other better. I attempted to eat elegantly and femininely, long nails certainly help with that, but I look forward to the time it is completely natural to act that way without thinking first. I’m nearly there but it is easy to revert to leaning forward or separating the legs a touch. The part I loved most was that it was completely natural to be out with N in that situation and neither of us was in any way uncomfortable. Box ticked.

We went shopping. The clothes shop was busy, like packed with people busy, to the point that both girls checked with me from time to time that I was ok and comfortable. I have such wonderful support. I was, although I didn’t try anything on this time as there was a queue for the changing rooms. Once again E found something she thought would be perfect for me. I sent N to try it on, and she said it was a definite Maddie piece, not her, so she purchased it for me.

Once again, and all too soon, it was well into the afternoon and E had to get back for her next client. N and I went home via a quick fuel stop. As I sat in the car I think, for the very first time, at least that I’d noticed, I may have been made. I regret that I didn’t smile at the woman rather than look away, which is what I did. I have to work on that …

Once we got home, we found a parcel had arrived. In it was a silver/black dress I had high hopes for. The good thing is that N and I are the same size/weight, but different shapes. If it doesn’t work for one it usually works for the other. And so began an impromptu dressing session. I love that girl so much!

N tried the dress I’d worn all day and looked so much better in it than I ever could, so she snaffled it for her wardrobe! I tried the top we had just bought. Never has a piece of clothing fitted Maddie better. A whole $6! Which is just over $3 in your currency. I was thrilled that it was long enough to wear as a dress. Then N threw me her jeans to wear underneath it. Perfect too!

Finally, the new silver and black dress. N tried first, So-so. Then I put it on. I had just one thought – I wanted to put on some higher black heels, slap on some red lippy and head out again! For the first time I wore something where I actually felt I looked hot!

So, now I’ve ordered another piece of shapewear with suspenders. When it arrives I will have to organise a night out with the girls. N says seamed stockings. I think smoky eye and bright red lipstick to go with that. I’m getting far too excited again. Bring it on!!!

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