I stand before the mirror, a new bathing suit in my hands. The fabric is cool and smooth, the pattern vibrant and feminine. It sends a jolt of anticipation and nervousness through me, alongside an undeniable sense of rightness. This isn’t just a garment; it’s a symbol of the identity I’ve longed to express.
I start to put on the suit, the elastic fabric gently hugging my body. I feel it contouring the line of my waist, accentuating a curve that is often hidden. It’s an unexpected sensation, a sense of being embraced and supported, as if the suit understands the femininity I yearn to express.
I adjust the top, the added weight of the faux breasts against my chest a new and distinct sensation. The way the fabric cups and cradles them feels strangely grounding, providing a physical reminder of the feminine persona I am embodying. There’s a thrill of discovery in this moment, an almost intoxicating mixture of vulnerability and liberation.
I stand straighter, the suit’s lines following the curve of my body, from my chest to my waist and down my hips. The fit of the suit feels like a second skin, echoing my movements and serving as a tactile affirmation of my identity. The sharp contrast of tightness and freedom in different areas of my body is both alien and exhilarating.
As I move, the suit moves with me. Every step, every breath seems to highlight a different curve, a different part of this new identity. It’s an intimate, sensual dance of self-discovery, of exploring a side of myself that is often overlooked or suppressed.
I look at myself in the mirror. The sight that greets me is a mix of the familiar and the foreign. There, I see myself as I am, as I wish to be seen. The bathing suit traces the curves I’ve added, accentuates my waistline, supports the weight on my chest, and in doing so, reflects an image of me that feels both new and profoundly true.
In that moment, I’m filled with a complex cocktail of emotions – joy, fear, satisfaction, a twinge of confusion. But what stands out the most is the deep sense of authenticity and liberation. I’ve stepped into a part of me that feels more genuine, more ‘me’ than ever before. And in that moment, despite all the unfamiliarity, I feel profoundly at home.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
12 Responses
Gwen,
I was 8-9 years old when I tried my sister’s swimsuit on , the attraction even then was overwhelming . Somehow it’s far more than just a garment and I feel your description clearly describes that , perhaps we have to accept there is a large sexual element . Looking back I know it wasn’t the need to dress in it as a woman but it was actually being intimate with a woman , it was her body , I discussed this with my gender counsellor and she understood my reasoning .
It was only recently I bought my first swimsuit in fact I played safe by buying a swim dress . The sales girl asked me to try it on for the right fit and assured me she would remain in the changing area to check but when I stepped out the cubicle she’d gone . So I stepped out into the main shopping area and found her talking to some friends , she smiled and gave me the thumbs up , as I returned to the changing area a lady looked me up and down and said , ” Oh I wish I had your figure ! ” I opened my mouth to say , ” I’m not what you think I am ” but thought better of it and just told she had a lovely figure . The problem with that swimsuit is that it’s quite thick material and is actually hot to wear so I bought one in a lighter weight fabric which I often wear in the garden to sunbathe . As for the old feelings well after so many years they have all but faded but it did make me smile when I caught the man next door having a good look when I was on my lounger .
Hi Teresa,
Oh I just adore swimsuits. Lots of planning is involved as you are aware especially if you love large breasts as I do. But what a thrill to walk along a beach or on a cruise ship deck. Wow.
Thanks for sharing
G.
Like teresa, I too remember putting on my sister’s swimsuit as a young kid.
Over ten years ago, I would swim after 11 at night in one of my then wife’s “donated” one-piece swimsuits. Nowadays, I like to sit out and tan in side-tied bikinis (no tops). I like the tan lines.
Gwen, that swimsuit you have on in the photo above looks fantastic.
Hi Cali,
Thanks GF!
I find a one piece long sleeves fixes allot of concerns for me such as breastplate lines and I really don’t like the sun due to sun damage and don’t like the feeling of sunblock on my skin.
I’d love to wear a bikini but that’s not something I can pull off unless maybe I wear smaller breast forms.
I would wear swimsuits as a tween back in the early 70’s when I’d find them in the bathroom drying off. What a thrill.
G.
I had no sisters who had bathing suits, but I do now have a very sympathetic neighbor (Jodi) who specifically wanted to help me with my first this summer of full transition.
With her help I got a kind of chunky (3X) but very well designed and fitting one piece with a blue and light blue flowery design and will personally AMEN everything that Gwen writes.
I spent most of last Saturday (July 8) as a test wear but really it was raining all day.
It was $26 from Walmart.com, of all places. I already belong to W+ anyway.
It includes a smart and cute blue, flowered satin robe as a companion that’s a wee bit tight, at least until my curves develop in the right places on my 6’3″ body over the coming months and year or so.
I won’t be able to swim in the thing until I come up with a set of immersible puffs which will also stand in for my real bust until that “pops” too by next summer.
Since March I’m living comfortably with a faux “52B” bust which the suit supports as incredibly incredible as Gwen offers.
What I DO plan to do with the one-piece is take the time to drive about 25 miles up to Carson Beach in South Boston some hot evening to cruise along the sidewalks among the human swarms.
Gigi,
As you do, I love walking among others just doing my thing. I never knew this, but I discovered I have a little bit of a daring side and like to be looked at by guys or girls. It’s the feminine allure I find fascinating. The feeling to be desired is intoxicating.
Gwen
Gwen,
While the experience of wearing a swimsuit was the point of your post should we also touch on the subject of our choice of what forms our bustline . Being fulltime I had to find something that I could live with 24/7 , I wanted to keep things as natural as possible mostly of what you see is me . For that reason I ruled out large overbreast forms or a breast plate , I consider myself lucky that my hips and shoulders are the same width so in my younger days my measurement were 36/37 ins bust , 31ins waist and 37 ins hips which equates roughly to a UK size 12 . Ok age does catch up so my waist is a couple of inches more and my bust size has gone from a 36C to a 38C but for my age I’m happy with that .
So what do I use for forms ? Well they started as an experiment but have proved very succesful and reliable . My secret is water balloons , I know many snigger at this and I felt like a poor relation for a while but when I discovered that placing one inside another and injecting about 210mls of water they gave me a perfect infill at the base of my bra . I’ve worn strapless bras and strapless dresses without a bra without a single problem , they supplement what I have naturally so what is seen in a low cut top is me . They are extremely durable , lasting 12-18 months , they give me the right weight for a reasonable bounce and replacing them only costs pennies . Yes you can swim in them and being water filled they are neutral weight in water . I have tried forms and found them hot and sticky long term whereas I’m comfortable all day no matter what the temperature is . The one problem I have is my body hair which I have to take care of every morning , some tell me hormones may reduce that but there’s more to hormones then that .
Teresa,
Long ago I learn about using tape to bring the skin under your arms into your breast. I saw this on a late night show in the 80’s or 70’s show. A little filet in the outside corners of a bra gives a very nice “bounce” to your girls. Today there are “boob tapes” that are used as bras, especially in backless outfits. The only trouble is you need to be hairless otherwise the tape hurts when you take it off. I was shown some at a Nordstrom this spring by a SA that offer to let me try a sample – but I have a hairy chest so I declined. The boob tapes looks and feels like KT tape (kinectic) and I have plenty of it. If the boob tape is truely like my KT tape, then it should hold even when wet. I tape my legs now and then for up to 3 days at a time while taking showers, swimming, steam baths, etc.. My legs are waxed several times a year to be able to tape them AND because I like my legs hairless.
If you want to help the hair on your chest disappear, use the Kandi recommendated NOOD. And use the link above, it helps pay for this site.
Cali,
I recall seeing something similar a while ago , there are two problems one is body hair and the other tape tends to pinch the chest in . Shaving is a daily ritual for me from head to toe , I just give myself the extra time but I don’t find it a problem . Our discussion raises the question is there a perfect bust ? Women vary so much , their breast are almost as unique as fingerprints so I don’t concern myself too much with perfection . I guess I’m lucky having a deep breast bone which gives an impression of cleavage , my main aim is to keep my figure in balance so I don’t vary my bust size at all , that makes choosing clothes much easier .
That’s an interesting question “Is there a prefect bust?” “What is the perfect bust for you?”
I can see a series of post from the contributers, like the “What about the Kids Series” that started out from a comment.
I personally hate stumble, and it itches as my hair grows out. and I don’t have time to shave everydayWhen I have time, I plan to laser off my facial hair, much like Kandi did. I have had to tape my legs for days and weeks at a time, so I went the wax way. After over 25 waxing in the last 8 years, I have little leg hair left.
Hi. I don’t think there’s any right or wrong answer to breasts. It’s so subjective. For me, I’m a big girl with a wide cest so smaller ones are not in proportion to my frame. So my size will probably be huge for someone else.
Then there’s preference.
I’ve made no secret that I love big boobs. I always have. It’s my vice. For others, they prefer small petite breasts or sometimes think big breasts are ugly.
To each their own.
My god, the way you describe the feeling of slipping into the swimsuit is literally like you have take the words right out of my head!!! It was one if the first things i wore of my moms and sisters and its still one of my favourite items to wear. For some reason i find they make me feel so feminine, im not sure if its the shape, the fabric or the illusion it gives.
Thank you so much for describing it so perfectly.
Kelly xx