This week and this week only, Gwen’s weekly wisdom will run on Friday as tomorrow is a very special day in Kandi’s Land history!
How to find yourself on the gender rainbow
Embarking on the journey of gender identity, especially as a transgender person, is like setting sail into uncharted waters. It’s deeply personal and unique for each individual. This voyage isn’t about looking to the world for a map; it’s about drawing your own.
You’re the captain here, steering through the waves of societal expectations and norms, navigating by the stars of your own truth.
Taking ownership of this journey means tapping into your inner compass. It’s about recognizing that the direction you choose isn’t determined by the winds of external opinion but by your own authentic sense of self. It’s about acknowledging that you might not fit neatly into the binary boxes the world has laid out, and that’s more than okay—it’s something to be celebrated.
Picture it like this: You’re on a road trip, but instead of following GPS, you’re picking the destinations that resonate with you. You’re not just reacting to the signposts and directions others shout out; you’re picking the routes that feel right. Sometimes, you’ll take the scenic route; other times, you’ll find shortcuts.
The point is, you’re in the driver’s seat, choosing how fast or slow you go, which sights you want to see, and where you want to stop and rest. It’s also about being okay with the fact that some days, you might feel like you’re at a crossroads, unsure of which path to take next.
That’s all part of the journey. It’s about taking a breath, checking in with yourself, and knowing that whatever you choose, it’s your choice. It’s your road, your rules.
In casual convo, if your friend is sharing their transition journey with you, you’d probably say something like, “Mate, this is your story. You’ve got this. It’s not about what the world expects you to be; it’s about who you feel you are inside.
Your identity is yours to define, explore, and celebrate. You’re not just following a path; you’re blazing a trail. And that’s pretty awesome.”
So, in essence, for anyone on the gender spectrum, it’s not about seeking approval or waiting for the world to give you the green light. It’s about owning your identity, being proud of the person you are becoming, and loving yourself every step of the way. It’s about recognizing that it’s your journey, your narrative, and every step forward is a chapter that you write for yourself.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
7 Responses
Gwen,
I am on the TG spectrum. It took quite a while for me to realize that. But once I did come to terms with my feminine side, I am so happy.
As you say – “It’s about owning your identity, being proud of the person you are becoming, and loving yourself every step of the way.” I am proud to be Jocelyn.
You look fabulous Gwen. I love this photo of you.
Jocelyn
Gwen,
Sorry but if only it was as easy as that we wouldn’t need counselling and/or therapy . At one point my road almost ended permanently .
Sometimes it’s like a ” chicken and egg ” situation we can’t plan our road or voyage until we know and understand what we are , looking back I know the first big step was accepting the term ” crossdresser ” . That was eventually followed by finding the courage to discuss the issue with my GP so he could hopefully refer me to a gender counsellor . When she started using the term transgender I felt we were discussing a third party until I gradually accepted it was me . Despite this I knew my route would be blocked as counselling was expected to be a cure by my ex-wife . Finding ourselves can be an arduous and tortuous journey at times , you really do need to believe in yourself and take control and not let others control you . This doesn’t mean being selfish , the truth is in finding yourself you become a better person and in the process more accepting and considerate of others , sadly that is often a point missed by others .
It is like a voyage of discovery , I’ve visited ports I never thought I would , some destinations still feel out of reach but as I’m in control I will make those decisions if and when the time comes .
I agree with Teressa here in that it’s really not simple or easy. Most of us have family involved and many do not understand it.
They have seen us in our male self for many years.
So many will never get this part of us.
My journey has been a jumbled mess and I’m still not sure where it ends.
Yes I’m trans and yes I do accept that but the road is full of pitfalls
How we navigate those also is a choice and decision we must make because make the wrong one and the consequences can be quite devastating
Don’t get me wrong I get what your saying it’s just not an easy road for many
There is a lot of wisdom in this post. No one pretends that any of this is easy, in fact it can be terrifying whether going into a shop to buy our first item of feminine clothing or making momentous and permanent changes to our life. But these are OUR decisions that we have to make and we can’t expect others to make those decisions for us or, indeed, blame them when things don’t go as we would want them to.
The famous Lao Tzu quote ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step’ is very relevant here and Gwen’s post encapsulates it perfectly. That ‘single step’ is grasping the nettle and making a positive decision. It doesn’t imply that the ‘thousand miles’ is going to be easy – it most definitely is not – but without that single step, there is no journey.
There is a current in this stream of life. Much of my life I have been swimming up the current, I made headway, but it wasn’t always easy. When my egg cracked, I stopped swimming up the stream and against the current. I then decided to float downstream and let the current take me. This floating feels right. The current knows where I need to be. This is one of my analogies of understanding I am Trans.
-Christina
That is so very well said!! Thanks Christine!!
Kandi, you are most welcome! I think a lot of us can relate. =)
-Christina