I hope this post finds you all in good spirits and health 🌞.
Today, I want to open up about something deeply personal to me, a reflection that has been growing in my heart for some time 🌱.
The other day, my wonderful wife, with all the love and concern in her heart, suggested something that got me thinking deeply 🤔. She proposed that maybe I should consider expressing my crossdressing identity at home, just for us, instead of going out in public 🏠👗. This came from a place of caring and protection, and I truly appreciate her support and understanding ❤️.
However, this suggestion made me realize something vital about my journey and identity. Dressing in female attire, for me, is not just about the act of wearing certain clothes. It’s a profound expression of my inner self, a core part of who I am 🌈🙏.
Being confined to expressing this part of myself only at home feels like trading one closet for another, albeit a bigger and perhaps more comfortable one 🚪➡️🏠. You see, there’s a liberating, almost indescribable feeling that comes with being my authentic self in the public eye 🌟.
Walking down the street, feeling the sun on my face, and knowing that I am presenting myself as I truly am is incredibly empowering 🚶♀️☀️.
It’s not just about the physical act of dressing up, but about the freedom, the acknowledgment, and the validation that comes with it 🕊️. In my home, I am safe, accepted, and loved. And while I cherish and am immensely grateful for that, I find myself longing for that same sense of acceptance and freedom in the broader world 🌍. It’s about breaking down the walls that society often puts up around expressions of identity and gender 🧱💔.
Each time I step out in public, dressed as I feel reflects my true self, I feel like I am making a statement. It’s a statement about authenticity, courage, and the beauty of diversity in human expression 🎨🏳️🌈. It’s about challenging norms, pushing boundaries, and contributing to a world where everyone feels free to be who they are 🌍💬.
But this isn’t just about me. It’s about a bigger picture. It’s about all of us who have ever felt confined, restricted, or limited in our expression of self 🤐. Whether it’s about our gender, our sexuality, our passions, or our dreams, we all have ‘closets’ that we’ve been told to stay within 🚪.
This conversation with my wife opened my eyes to the many layers of my own journey of self-acceptance and expression 🌟. It made me ponder the importance of not just finding spaces where we are tolerated, but where we are celebrated for who we are 🎉.
So, while I’ll continue to cherish the sanctuary of my home, where I can be me without fear or judgment, I also pledge to keep pushing the boundaries outside 🏡🚶♀️.
I drove from Harrisburg, PA where are the Keystone conference was and I passed through Orlando and felt an opportunity to stop at Volcano Bay, which is a waterpark.
I love water, but I also found an opportunity where I could go somewhere and push my own closet because no one knows me and I knew no one. I could, see how I would react in public in a swimsuit.
However, not just any swimsuit, anyone who also knows me knows that I have a fondness for very large breasts. I wanted to see how people would react as I walked around the waterpark and floated in the lazy river, and went into the wave pool. But more importantly, I want to see how I reacted and push my own boundaries further out and make my closet, bigger and more expensive.
For me, it’s always about pushing the boundary of fear 😵💫 a little bit further out. I call it “domesticating the fear”, so this way when I am in most situations, I’m not trapped in a small closet, but I can be able to function with relative ease in any situation because I’ve pushed my boundaries so far out, that anything else seems simple for me.
I stop and smile, talk to people and laugh at life. Many ask to take a picture with me and “the girls”. As you see in the picture, the girls as a call them, are slightly on the large size. I say that tongue-in-cheek of course. Practical for every day? No way. I see them as an exercise in personal and emotional strength.
I grow as a person and domesticate my fear. For in every step I take, in every curious glance I meet, I see an opportunity for dialogue, for understanding, and for change 🗣️👀.
I want to take this moment to encourage each one of you, my dear friends, to embrace your own truths, to step out of any ‘closets’ you may find yourselves in, and to live life authentically and boldly 🔓🌈.
Let’s support each other in our journeys of self-discovery and expression, in all the diverse and beautiful forms they take 🤝❤️.
Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. Your support and understanding mean the world to me 💖. Here’s to a world where we can all live freely, lovingly, and openly 🌎💫.
Dr. Gwen Patone
#LivingMyTruth #NoMoreClosets #BeYou
4 Responses
Gwen,
Wonderful remarks, I completely agree with everything you say! Honestly, I’m not fond of pushing things like you did with “the girls” but we all have our comfort zone and ways to express who we are. Good for you ❤️.
Sherry
Gwen,
May I ask if you pursued the conversation with you wife , did you discover her reasons for making the suggestion ?
I fully understand the way you describe the feelings of stepping out in public because I’ve lived them , of course we wouldn’t do it if those feeling weren’t there . Somedays words weren’t enough , it was all about floating on cloud 9 in a bemused state . I don’t get the same feelings anymore , I’m just so relieved I don’t have the dreadful feelings of appearing as a man .
To return to your title , ” How big is your closet ?” , like most women the obvious answer is not big enough . That question would go over the heads of the majority of men , what I find intriguing is the way a transgender person almost naturally understands the same question . Style is a very subjective and personal thing but dressing revealed it came naturally to me , I admit I have been surprised when people have complimented me on it , I did find it flattering coming from women because not all women possess that gift .
Ok the big question , do we play around with boob sizing ? Perhaps for an occasional dresser it can be fun , OK I admit it might be fun to have some very ample ones to see what the response is but full time for me meant consistency . I needed to be plausable , I needed to be accepted , so many people know Teresa , they know what to expect when I walk through the door . Some might consider that sounds boring but for me it’s not so because it’s taken almost a lifetime to reach this point , I’m going to use my remaining time to enjoy what I have now .
100% in agreement re: how being confined to the house just doesn’t do it Consider shopping at Costco or any place. As a male just a chore to get done. But as a female it is so much more. But hard to describe if you haven’t done it
Gwen, first, you’re fortunate to have a wife who is appreciative of your feminine desires of expression. My wife and I are in a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” marriage but she makes no snide remarks about my desires and is supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. It’s a case of NIMBY. Anyway, ask her if there is any other motivation for her suggestion to be a stay-at-home dresser. It can be more than just for your safety and security. My desires do end up being a shared secret. There is always the possibility of negative reactions being imposed on the cross-dressing man and his wife; No more invites to a neighbors home, friendships dissolve, etc. I do not live in a vacuum, so I do not want to endanger any of my wife’s relationships. Due to a tragedy my wife endured she always wants to be reassured I am safe; not at all trolling my every move. Does your wife accompany you on any of your outings? In a sense, she is also confined to your closet.