Hot Thoughts

I have a friend, known since around 1976 (high school). Our daughters played volleyball together and we share a deep passion for music. I was able to get him a coveted gig as a talent escort at the Rock Hall Inductions. Probably the only person I would do that for. We may well have seen close to a hundred concerts together. It’s usually me and he and his wife, me the third wheel. He has zero knowledge of Kandi, nor will he ever (I hope).

Pre-pandemic he reached out and asked if I wanted to go see Spoon at the House of Blues. I knew nothing about the band, so I Googled them, listened to about half of the title song of this post and their 2017 album and I was all in! And am so happy I discovered this band and am now and always a huge fan. We (same friend and wife) have tickets to see them soon at the Rock Hall. The band has actually been around since its founding in 1993. Just do yourself a favor, Google them and yes, you are welcome!

The musical theme ties nicely into this post. Recently I read a few posts on Facebook that I found very well written and very meaningful. They follow here. Each post has been very lightly edited for format here. I wrote not a single word of these posts. Highlights have been added by me for emphasis.

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“Saturday… I got to enjoy being me the whole day. I got this new skirt I’m obsessed with and these new shoes that are so cute.

Bear with me…

I have been losing weight since I decided to be me, to love myself. What a difference it is when you realize you are you and stop fighting that fight that has been with you since childhood. All those questions finally start getting answers. You are not a weirdo, you are not mentally unstable, you are not an aberration. You discover who you truly are and embrace that person who’s been longing for years to be embraced. You learn to love yourself, to accept who you are, to have fun the way you were meant to be.

God did not make mistakes. Society has labeled you and I as a mistake, but not the God of the universe. You and I can finally be at peace knowing that we can accept ourselves and that we are accepted by a God who truly loves us.

That gives you a different perspective, a purpose to live, a motive to love yourself, a better way of life, a reason to look at yourself in the mirror and enjoy being you, have fun putting on makeup, wearing cute jewelry and clothes with fabulous shoes, feeling fantastic as a princess on a fairy tale, knowing that you are the main character in your own love story.

Embrace yourself. Your inner self is longing for your own embrace.

That was Saturday for me. XOXOXO “

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“I have a message for all the closeted cross-dressers in America.

First, I know your journey better than you might think. For the first 58 years of my life, I thought I was one too. I know the late-night bargains you make with yourself. I know the promises to quit. I know the carefully hidden clothes, the fear of being discovered, and the exhausting gymnastics of trying to fit into a world that insists everything must fit into a neat little box.

Honey, I’ve lived there.

That’s why I think you may be one of the most overlooked allies for progress and human rights. You can walk through spaces where your motives are never questioned. You know what it means to hide a piece of yourself. You know what it feels like when someone else decides your private life is somehow public property. That gives you something precious: empathy.

And empathy wins hearts.

You don’t have to come out. You don’t have to blow your own cover. You don’t have to tell your story before you’re ready, or ever. Your closet is your business. Your ballot is your business too.

You can stand with transgender people, LGBTQ+ people, women, immigrants, minorities, and anyone else being told they deserve fewer rights than the next person. You can vote for freedom because you understand that the people who police gender rarely stop at one target.

Here’s a little secret that the culture warriors don’t want to hear: they have probably shared a barber shop, a church pew, a poker game, or a backyard barbecue with a cross-dresser and never knew it. The world didn’t end. The republic survived. Nobody burst into glitter.

Human rights are for everyone. Dignity is for everyone. Privacy is for everyone. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is not making a grand entrance. Sometimes it’s quietly doing the right thing because you know exactly what it feels like to be afraid. And from one woman who spent 58 years believing she was “only” a cross-dresser, I’m asking you to remember this: You may be carrying more understanding, more compassion, and more power to change the world than you ever imagined.

I am counting on you.“

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Hot thoughts all in my mind and all of the time
You must be trouble for sure
Hot thoughts all in my mind all of the time, yeah
I tell it to you slow when I want you to know
Hot thoughts all in, all in my mind all of the time

This is the cliche of all cliches, but it is gospel: you have one single crack at life. Don’t let what you perceive to dictate how you live your life, how you seek happiness.