I’m the keynote speaker at Atlanta Comfort Conference in September later this year. Tickets are currently on sale. Come watch me in action. I’d love to give you a big ol’ Gwen Hug!!!
A Trans Woman’s Gentle, Heartfelt Message to Parents of Trans Kids: Love Holds Both Hearts at Once
Hey parents… I see you.
I’m a transgender woman who waited until after 60 to transition. I know the quiet, bone-deep relief that finally comes when your body and soul line up.
But I also know—because I lived it—what it feels like to carry that ache for decades. Sometimes deep inside, while other times on my sleeve. And right now, my heart is breaking for every single one of you who’s lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, whispering the same prayer: “Please let me get this right for my child.”
If your kid has looked you in the eyes and said, “I think I’m trans,” I want you to hear this first, from someone who’s actually been there:
You are not failing them by feeling scared. You are not a bad parent for wanting to slow down.
You are not cruel for asking, “Is this really you, sweetheart… or is something else hurting right now?”
That fear? That ache in your chest? That’s love.
Pure, fierce, protective love. And your child’s tears, their desperation, their certainty that they were born in the wrong body? That pain is real too. I promise I’m not here to dismiss a single ounce of it.
Love shows up in different languages inside the same family. Sometimes it’s wrapping them in the biggest hug and saying, “I see you exactly as you are.”
Sometimes it’s gently taking their hand and saying, “I love you too much to rush. Let’s walk through this together, step by careful step, because your body and your future are the most precious things I will ever guard.”
Both of those are love. Both are compassion. Neither one is rejection.
Kids’ brains are still wiring themselves. They soak up every influence around them—friends, social media, the beautiful but overwhelming world we live in. Their hearts feel things so deeply, so quickly. That’s why we don’t let them make other permanent choices yet. And I believe, with every fiber of my being, that medical steps that can’t be undone deserve the same tender, patient protection.
I’m not saying “never transition.”
I’m saying: let’s make sure—really, deeply sure—that this is their true voice, not just the loudest one in the room right now. Let’s give them time, skilled therapy that explores every possibility, and all the love in the world while we wait for clarity. Because if it truly is them, they will still be them in a year, or two, or five. And they’ll know their parent stood beside them with open arms and open eyes.
To the parents who feel pressured to affirm instantly: I know the terror that any pause will be seen as hate. It doesn’t have to be. Holding space for your child’s feelings while also protecting their developing body is still the deepest kind of “I’ve got you.”
To the parents who want to shut the door completely: please hear me—a woman who finally transitioned after a lifetime of waiting. Some kids are trans. Some of them are me at 14, crying alone. Closing every door can leave scars too.
There’s a middle path, and it’s made of love:
Listen without panic.
Protect without shame.
Wait with evidence instead of fear or ideology.
Your child deserves a parent who loves them more than they fear the internet’s judgment. They deserve to know that every single tear, every single question, every single hope is held in the safest hands—theirs.
If you’re a parent walking this road right now, I’m sitting right here with you in spirit. You’re not alone. Your love is enough. Your questions are enough. Your courage to do the hardest thing—pause and protect—is enough.
Drop a ❤️ if this landed softly in your heart tonight.
You’re doing sacred work.
And your kid is so, so lucky to have you.
With all my love and zero judgment, A trans woman who waited… and who wants every child to feel truly seen, truly safe, and truly loved—no matter how long the journey takes.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
#gwenpatrone
#transgenderlivesmatter
#transbeauty
#LGBTQSupport
#ibelieveinyou
Life Keeps on Life-in! 🌈🚛✨
Hey beautiful souls,
Being transgender comes with its own unique rollercoaster — the days when dysphoria hits like a freight train, the fear of coming out, the stares, the misgendering, the endless paperwork, the family that doesn’t understand, the world that sometimes tries to tell you your truth isn’t valid.
Some days you feel unstoppable in your authenticity, other days it feels like every step forward is met with another detour or roadblock.
But here’s what we keep proving, over and over: we keep on going.
As the old song says… “Keep on truckin’!”
We adjust our sails (or our hormones, our names, our wardrobes, our boundaries), we shift gears, and we move forward anyway — because at the end of the day, it’s never really about what happens around us. It’s 100% about how we react to what happens.
We get to choose: let the noise define us, or keep writing our own story with more grace, more grit, more unapologetic love for the person we’re becoming. Every binder tightened, every name corrected, every mirror moment where you finally see you — that’s you truckin’ through it all.
You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days so far… and you’re still here, still shining, still becoming. The world is better because you’re in it exactly as you are.
So whatever curveball is flying at you right now — breathe, affirm yourself (even if it’s just a quiet “I’m still here”), and keep on life-in’. Your journey is powerful, valid, and so deeply inspiring.
What’s one “keep on truckin’” moment you’re proud of lately — big or small? Drop it in the comments. Let’s lift each other up like the fierce community we are.
With the biggest hugs, endless respect, and so much belief in every single one of you,
Dr. Gwen Patrone 💖🏳️⚧️
#gwenpatrone
#transbeauty
#LGBTQSupport
#transgenderlivesmatter
#ibelieveinyou
2 Responses
Great post, Gwen.
I can still vividly remember one particular day when, as a teenager, when trying on my mother’s clothes for the umpteenth time, I was overwhelmed by a feeling that I wanted to take whatever steps necessary to become a girl (which, in those days, was a ‘sex change’ operation). At that moment, I knew that I had to tell my parents, such was the strength of the feelings.
Those feelings passed before my parents returned home so the conversation was never had but I imagine that the reaction, particularly from my mother, would have been one of horror – firstly through discovering that her ‘deviant’ son had been wearing her clothes and secondly because of the damage it would do to her social standing. As it was, with all of that left unsaid, I went on to have a reasonably successful career and a family and, most importantly, not a shred of regret with how things turned out. But suppose that all of that happened in 2026, not 1976; I may well have been ‘affirmed’ firstly by my parents, then by the medical profession and then who knows what – hormones? Surgery? Maybe the parallel life I’d then go on to live would be good but with the benefit of hindsight, I honestly don’t think it would have been.
My life isn’t perfect, far from it, but that episode provided me with all the evidence I’ve ever needed that whilst children who do start to question their gender need compassion and support, that doesn’t stretch to blind faith in whatever they may believe at that particular moment. It’s too big an issue to risk blowing up their future by getting it wrong.
Gwen,
Sometime ago I took a GG friend to see a show featuring a NB person called Elise Heaven , the show was both amusing and sad , after the show Elise was booked to join any of the interested audience in the bar lounge . Sadly Elise didn’t show but one of the theatre staff still held a meeting , it was a very mixed selection of people some tried to understand . Also in that group was a young transgender M/F with her parents , I was asking most of the questions and trying to supply some logical answers to theirs . I asked the mother if she felt guilty after her son/daughter told her the story , she replied for a while she did . I asked this question because when I came out to my mother she was OK but a couple of days later she rang very upset blaming herself for my situation . I assured her that it was no one was to blame we have to learn and accept we are wired differently and that was the message I told the mother and the rest of the group . For several minutes I was bombarded with questions and the inevitable stereotype comments , while it may have been about a dozen people it was obvious they had had their eyes opened , form that group I’m sure the message was passed on to many others .
I must add that they understood more the transgender situation but not so much the NB one , I always feel that being NB is like being in ” NO MAN’S LAND ” , I’m happy and comfortable with a defined gender . I’m officially identified as Teresa .