A Different Kind of High

A major event space. A high-end charity event. A space full of about 500 people. Me, the only “one” there, so positively noticed, recognized and acknowledged. The perfect dress. THIS is the best type of high!

The photo at right was taken while seated at a bar, relaxing and enjoying the moment. The photo above was a blooper, but I do love seeing my closed eyes with makeup. May 14, 2025, the Silver Spoons event for The Arthritis Foundation. This is a celebration of all the best bars and restaurants as chosen annually by Cleveland Magazine. I have volunteered for this event for many, many years. It is a head swelling occasion, seeing old friends, making new ones. Guests being so amazingly kind, chatting me up like anyone else. (Of course, why wouldn’t they, but the normalcy which I have brought to all of this for me has been nothing less than amazing. I never, ever, take it for granted.) A few people just walked up to me to recommend I try this or that. Men and women. I helped work the registration desk for the guests as they arrived, then had the run of the event like any other paid guest.

That walk around the space, people passing here and there, me just taking it all in. I have done this hundreds of times but every time it is like the first time. It is always a revelation, a gift, my drug of choice.

One quick story. At the event, there are probably 50 different places to grab a sample of food, dessert, pastry or a cocktail. One such restaurant was a Cleveland iconic pizzeria. I stopped for a slice and the wonderful woman there was beyond kind. She complimented me, told me I was pretty and could not be sweeter! We chatted a bit later, which of course ended in the big hug. She told me she was happy that I felt comfortable to be myself and I let her know that my being highly visible is the only way we slowly change minds. And it does. What a wonderful human being!

Love the dress! Love the accessories! Love the neckline! A perfectly coordinated outfit, which was noted by quite a few people. It’s funny, people that see me time and again always note my superpower, outfit assembly. Can’t explain it, don’t understand it, but it is undeniable, I can put together the right outfit for any occasion, for my body and body type, to be positively recognized by anyone with eyes.

May 15, 2025 was not a planned Kandi outing. I was going to play pickleball and do a bunch of yardwork. But after an hour, pickleball got rained out, which forced a delay in the yardwork. So with a bit of light foundation, pink lipstick and brows, I wore sunglasses (therefore no eye makeup) and the outfit you see at left. This is the exact same outfit I wore to my recent eye doctor appointment, except I wore a wig this day. This enabled me to get out the door in about 20 minutes.

I just wanted to kill an hour or so. I headed to a local outlet mall and went in many stores. I casually shopped women’s clothing, lingerie, dresses, etc. I tried on a few things and went home with a coral pair of slacks, an adorbs oversized white sweater and a lace bralette to be worn with the sweater. When off my shoulder, I wanted a really cute and fem bra strap to show. All in all, a lovely way to spend a morning!

May 16, 2025, a very, very busy day! It was an eye-opening type of day for me. I was essentially dressed all day, had been dressed in one form or another for over 48 hours. When I completed my presentation for this day, it was perfection, given what I have to work with. Everything about the outfit was spot on, perfectly tied together with a great makeup job (again understanding I am painting on an aged canvas, so to speak). There is an undeniable power to an outfit like this, pencil skirt, lovely blouse, killer heels and purse. I know this is who I am, who I was meant to be. Now, knowing that, nothing will change. I still also have roles in life that are also who I am, are who I was meant to be. I spend far too much time in my own head, a direct result of this blog as well as a side effect of my unfortunate incarceration. Those two years forced a chance in mentality to simply survive it, let alone move beyond. This constant self-perspective, constantly seeking to get better at whatever.

This day, all day, I felt both so right and so unbelievable selfish. As you have seen here, I am getting out many, many more times and what you don’t see if that I am essentially in female form every night and morning at home. All the time taken doing this was time previously spent trying to generate income. Plus, I am spending way too much money, especially on things that either pass through me or hang in my overcrowded closet.

This was my day: a meeting with who I hope will be my new internet/digital consultant. Then I went to the Bomb Shelter, a tremendous thrift store, with so many 50’s, 60’s, 70’s + items, appliances, etc… Next, I headed to the mall and really enjoyed my casual stroll all over the place, really loving shopping. I picked up a few really cute off-shoulder sweaters to be paired with the adorable bralette I mentioned above. A cocktail (or two) at a great local bar/restaurant and then off to the grand opening block party for The Cleveland Foundation. There I saw so many different friends from so many different places. Hugs, hugs, hugs. The governor was there, and I tried to speak with him to remind him that trans people are human beings but could not get to him quickly enough. Lost opportunity. One highlight was a woman who came up to me and said she remembered me checking her in for the Arthritis Event (see above). That was simply me scanning a QR code and welcoming her (and everyone else I checked in). Yet, she specifically remembered me and saw me elsewhere and came up to say hello. Finally, I then scooted to a Plexus event, again saw old friends and made a few new ones. Whew…

How’d we do? Think she’s happy?

The original version of the outfit had me in a black skirt, but my paucity required a different skirt. I did love and prefer the purple skirt, which allowed for a purple, gold and black pallet and let me tie in purple lipstick and makeup highlights. Yes, details girls!