Since going out has been lesser here in 2026, let me create a post and explain a few things about my pictures here and on my social platforms. I try very much to be present in the moment when I am out. I also want my pictures to be good, or at least representative of how I looked on any specific day. Often pictures I have taken out in the wild look awful. Remember the old Seinfeld episode about the woman who looked amazing in good light and hideous in bad lighting? That’s me. So, I almost always do a photoshoot at home before I go out. I just don’t want to be asking people to take my picture, and I don’t do the selfie/mirror thing.
I put thought into using different parts of the home, different angles. I also do so without showing anything personal about anyone else in our family like the many photographs on the walls or anything that would reveal my secret identity (yes, I am Bruce Wayne). An outfit may feel like a work outfit, so maybe an office pic? Or it may feel like a housewife, so the kitchen? You can see a lot about how we live from the pictures, just not who I am.
If I know I am going somewhere outside the home where I can set up the tripod and remote, I always try to do that for variety’s sake. For example, when I work the Cleveland International Film Festival, I usually arrive about 20 minutes early and do a photo shoot with the run of the second largest theater district in the country (after Broadway). Yeah, pretty sweet, right? Otherwise, the pictures are done, and I head out the door to enjoy whatever I have planned without worrying about pictures. Remember, pictures = content! I do like to document every time out as well as every outfit since I actually put thought into each and every one of them regardless of how they turn out. While I now get out a lot, it wasn’t always that way, this became habit and now has become sort of an art form for me.
This is often why, for example, when Sherry and I go out, there is no photographic evidence. We live in the moment, have the experience. Plus, I forget, as the mind continues to fade. She has been good lately about doing the selfie thing early in an outing. Also, when I post publicly here or on Facebook, I occasionally get the question about did I really go out or why there is no picture with so and so. Well, on Facebook if anyone questions me on if I really went out, instant block. I almost never post pictures of me with others, unless I have their express permission. I may not ask their permission if I see them posting the same picture themselves, but I do respect other’s privacy.
One other explanation while I am at it. I have occasionally gotten complaints on the Google ads here. I get it, they bug me as well. But the fact of life these days are two-fold. One, these types of ads are everywhere. One complaint I received was from someone on Facebook (ads throughout, almost every other post on my feed) and Flickr (ads all over the place). Two, this place costs me money. It is a passion for me, so my time investment pays me back in spades. But the hosting, URL, etc. are out-of-pocket and so these ads offset those costs. If I could calculate what I “make” on my investment of time and money, it might be a good $0.01/hour. I know, then don’t do this… You would be right, but us girls also need homes like this, like Stana, to help us know we are indeed not alone. To know that there is indeed nothing wrong with us. We are just wired differently, not a choice, a biological reality.
If you have a particularly intrusive set of ads on any post, simply refresh the page. Even I have to see the ads, and I am on the site as the admin, not a general reader.
Now for Grace, as she sips her morning coffee, here are a few 2022 memories!
8 Responses
Kandi,
Without pictures who would we really be ? We can tell our RW stories but sometimes without piccies people question you . Even some in my social groups wouldn’t accept I was fulltime , it’s partly why I stepped away form transgender groups , I didn’t need the hassle of proving myself . I also realised how much BS other people talk , they were only fooling themselves but they didn’t fool me .
I must admit nowdays I’m bad at taking pictures , not because everyday is boring but I’m out everyday , most of the time outfits are chosen more for function , if I accidently catch a sleeve in my paint pallet it’s not the end of the world . Tomorrow is different because it’s my National Trust group New Year lunch , so much hinges round the weather but I’ll redo my nails today and give my best wig a wash and conditioner , I might ask someone to take a picture but our chairman will take a group shot . He also likes to take some video footage of our annual holiday so I often feature with or without my knowledge , usually with a wine glass in my hand !!
Ads are a modern way of life , they have their uses , if you’re watching something on TV the ads are great , I call them TEA and PEE breaks !! I find them more of a pain when I listened to Classic FM , A beautiful piece of music is then followed by someone having problems with some part of their anatomy !
It’s the whole “if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, did it make a sound?” thing, for sure. Thanks Teresa.
Like you, having digital photos becomes a diary of my year, a way to count my outings (ended up on 52, or on average once a week). The photos add to the memories, but they also act as the proverbial pinch–so I know I’m awake and not dreaming–and actually out in the world dressed in a way I wanted to dress for 60+ years.
The pictures are also distractions for my GG friend Renee, who loves seeing me dressed, to help cope with her far too numerous health issues. My friend Ms. Dee-ism likes seeing my pictures too.
And I assume others here do too, otherwise individuals wouldn’t regularly come visit for a look. They want some evidence that it’s possible to be out dressed, and maybe one day it will be their turn. Or there are those who enjoy seeing men dressed as women, and I’m fine with that too. I derive pleasure from dressing; why shouldn’t others derive pleasure from my dressing too?
As 2026, I’m thankful for the regular opportunity to post here, to have an unknown audience of however many, and grateful to you Kandi for my weekly space.
Now may we both have faster times and more fun clothes to find and wear….
Dee, the thanks is all mine to you! One thing you said here I had never thought of was the “pinch”.
I had a bit of downtime this weekend between work shifts and just went through a number of memories and really did have to pinch myself to remind me that I did this or that.
Thanks, my friend!
Hey Kandi! Thx for the shoutout girly! Indeed – I am on my third cup of coffee this am gazing at your lovely pics from 2022. What a nice variety too…(love the tutu dress!). You definitely are able to pull off a multitude of different looks. Certainly helpful if you’re trying to hide your secret identity. Your montage reminded me of a recent encounter I had with a girlfriend who’d never seen me in drab. She said – “There is NO way I would ever connect you to Grace Palmer.” Which I took as a high compliment. I do enjoy the “secret identity” aspects of being in the Sorority of Secret Girls. It adds to the fun for me.
😘
I think I first went out in public in 1980. Thats not counting a couple of Halloween parties in the 70s. I sometimes look at my.pics in the past and think about those times. Pics bring back memories for me and the people I have met in our community. I think how I have changed. I wish I could change more but family commitments come first. But I still like seeing those pics.
And we LOVE hearing from you!