Riding The Roller Coaster Called Life

September 19, 2024…

The day began with our first grandchild being welcomed into the world. And it progressed with a conversation with Mom about what was now diagnosed as low-grade bladder cancer. Chemo or wait to see if the procedure she just underwent, worked. Mom never had to make big life decisions, Dad always made those. He is long gone, she is now aging and we (my sisters and I) are now the daily supports, big decision makers. There are four of us, typically Catholic, pumping out babies one year after another. Four kids, four years. I am the oldest, with three sisters thereafter. That all lead to this, but that is a different story for a different day. I am the family a-hole, yell at whoever needs to be yelled at to protect Mom. That came into play recently with a huge issue that required her moving unexpectedly after 20+ years in the same apartment. I also manage Dad’s estate. My oldest sister, after me, handles the important stuff, Mom’s daily comfort. I suck at that. I never call or contact anyone. You call me and simply say “Hello” and I will ramble on and on and on. I go weeks without touching base with our children, Mom, anyone. I am a grinder, day by day, what needs to get us to the next day.

As life aways works, these events could not have been separated by at least one day, right? I get the full roller coaster ride. An unexpected, but joyful, trip to Chicago lay ahead this coming week, but not before living my life, living my Kandi life.

September 22, 2025, the dedication of my amazing (late) friend Jim’s dedication of the pickleball facility named in his honor. Amazing joyfulness, gut punch, grief.

His widow, Magda, is the most amazing human being I know outside of family, for many, many reasons.

The facility is beautiful. The ceremony was beautiful. There were so many people there and I felt so at ease. Yes, I cried. Jim meant the world to me in more ways than I can articulate. Magda, the same. This man was beloved by family, friends, fellow runners, co-workers, everyone. He was a flawed human being like all of us, but his heart was full, and I was a benefactor of that.

Here is how I went (reminding you it is a pickleball facility, a memorial and I was hoping to play, which ended up not being possible).

The amazing human being at right is my new friend, Mo. I had met her twice before, but both times she was with Magda and frankly, I was so surprised to see Magda that I didn’t focus on anything else. She reintroduced herself to me, I apologized for being so narrow minded when we met before and we literally became girls! It was instantaneous and amazing! She never met Jim, but she and Magda bonded incredibly in grief counseling, as she also recently lost her husband to cancer. We were and are like sisters now. That picture was taken about 5 minutes after we reconnected. The joy is palpable.

Wow, how lucky can one girl be?

September 23, 2025, off to Chicago to see our newest family member! Life…

And, of course, I cannot have a relaxing visit with our daughter. The baby remained in the hospital, but not in the NICU and my f’n truck screwed me again, with the starter going. I am in the thing the day prior, no issue. I leave for two days, it breaks down. As I am driving to Chicago in a driving rain, with shitty tires because my truck is bleeding me dry so I cannot afford them right now, I am trying to arrange a tow and a rental so we can continue to provide services to our client. Yes, life…

Our trip was worthwhile on many levels, but our grandson remains in the hospital, and we could not see him. We are not alarmed by this, he is progressing and is over 6 pounds, so it’s a matter of going through what he would have gone through had he gone to term. It was a disappointment, but being there for our daughter and son-in-law, mostly my wife’s presence, was worth the drive. I spent an entire day cooking and stocking their freezer with meals: my killer tortilla soup, chicken rice and beans, 6 lbs. of shredded chicken as well as shredded BBQ beef and pork. I wanted things easily freezable and usable in various ways. We are optimistic about the future, but not seeing the baby and watching my daughter cry having been discharged and leaving him in the hospital was heart wrenching. While the meat slow cooked, I took a long walk in the very walkable town where they live, picked up a few grocery items and hit a local pub where the owner (whom I just met) and I did shots of Tequilla (on him, of course). Highs and lows, ups and downs and the roller coaster of life chugs along.

It was only coincidence this followed Amanda’s high and low post.