Thereās really only ONE thing that we fear in life:
The unknown.
Think about itā¦
When youāre staring the difficult decision to feminize or notā¦
Youāre not actually afraid of the decision itself.
You fear how bad things COULD get if things go wrong.
You fear letting down those who look up to you.
You fear what other people might think.
And you fear missing out on what you want in life.
Itās okay ā fear is normal.
You need to DOMESTICATE THE FEAR.
FEED YOUR FAITH, STARVE YOUR FEAR.
But what sets the MOST successful people apart is their ability to conquer fear.
Now, this doesnāt mean theyāre not scared. Itās not that theyāre fearless. Itās that theyāve learned to act in the face of fear. Theyāre just able to better understand the unknown.
Itās actually simpler than you might think.
THINK BEYOND THE FEAR.
MOST people just look at the initial consequences and not further.
This is what causes fear. Because they canāt see ahead into the unknown. Itās like a fog has blinded them to future possibilities.
For example, if you donāt know whether or not you should take the next stepā¦
If you JUST look at the initial fear vs having it be the solution to a longer problemā¦
Itās looking at longer consequences and not only short-term consequences. The most successful people in the world know this. They weigh the short and long term benefits and consequences and decide based on that assessment.
So instead of just looking at āwhat if someone laughs at meā and Iāll feel terrible vs someone may laugh but I donāt value my self-esteem based on others.
They quickly realize that it goes much deeper.
If I step out that door, sure, I may have temporary discomfort but Iāll grow strongerā¦
Iāll also have developed my femme persona just a little better and feel fulfillment in life.
Whereas if I donāt go outside, sure, Iāll not get laughed at in the short termā¦
But Iād miss out on a valuable skill & possibly feel stuck for months or years to come, and I may feel less femme than I am now.
MY WRITINGS ARE ALL ABOUT GETTING YOU TO THINK DEEPER.
THATās where real thinking comes in. Because itās SO much clearer about the future.
Itās makes the unknown, known.
And THATās how the most successful people in the world make fast decisions & conquer fear!
Are you brave enough?
Stong enough?
Femme enough?
I think you are. You may not realize it yet. Dig deep in your soul. Youāll find the courage.
Then do it.
Be Strong. 
Gwen Patrone
#TransPreneur
The Female Form Is Like Art 
6 Responses
Very well said! The power is within us.
Fear for those who desire or need to be seen is defiantly real.
This thing I missed in the fear I had and did overcome to now go out to be me was what consequences going out would be.
No not being laughed at or being read or harmed no mine was I didnāt see what it might do to my marriage
I did not think of my spouse and how she felt.
I think she felt fear but more so anger that I would expose myself this way and not respect her enough to not go out.
So to be clear I know some spouses just look the other way or some, very few I might say embrace this side.
Well mine never did really either and it cost me way more than I wanted.
Oh sure being divorced Iām able to be me anytime I want now but I no longer have that relationship that I so desire.
Being trans can really suck at times but we move on as I have
Thanks for sharing here and always Rach! You are certainly part of the team here!
Iām sorry to read about your relationship. My wife gives me space ut does have her limits. We often forget during our femme journey that thereās another person involved or we neglect they have feelings too.
Itās traumatic for them. Empathy is necessary.
Iām not saying all will work out.. But doing what you can will give the relationship a fighting chance.
Gwen
Gwen,
I do feel Rachel makes a good point , even if we can overcome fear it doesnāt mean others can , is it really fair to transfer our fear onto an innocent party ?
Rachel , Sometimes divorce is no bad thing , I know itās what most of us fear but in my case it was when the real talking started , we could be totally honest with each other for the first time . Blame can be tossed around but in truth no one is to blame . At times in our lives we cheat on people as they cheat on us . Non transgender people will never understand what it truly means but they must realise we donāt cheat on anyone , itās inside us and thereās very little we can do about it but truthfully accept it . Being transgender does not suck as it has to be a realistic way of live , what sucks is acceptance or lack of it .
Basically fear is to do with self preservation , the ā fight or flight ā question , if we are the only bread winner we need to ensure we can live to fight another day .
Fear for a transgender person is more complex , we donāt need to dress to survive ( setting aside the GD question ) so why do we need to take risks for questionable reasons ? Do we deserve to be laughed at as many of our partners would hope for ?
Being full time do I still have any fears ? The answer has to be yes as I now have to consider the fears a woman has , sometimes it doesnāt help knowing how a man would deal with problems .
Iām sorry to read about your relationship. My wife gives me space it does have her limits. We often forget during our femme journey that thereās another person involved or we neglect they have feelings too.
Itās traumatic for them. Empathy is necessary.
Iām not saying all will work out.. But doing what you can will give the relationship a fighting chance.
Gwen