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The Importance of Female Friends

Another beautiful soul we have added to our community here.

By Julie Day

The friendships that we make in our lives makes our lives so much better, but the friendship between women is so different from the many friendships I have made as a man. My friendship I have made over the years as a man are especially important to me, but as I have discovered my feminine side, I have made friends as a woman. As I started making connections with other girls in our wonderful community, I discovered other girls who felt the same way I did. When I first started out on this journey of gender self-discovery, I felt confused and struggled with acceptance about myself. I begin to meet other girls who give me the total freedom to be myself.

Being a crossdresser brings with it many struggles, from acceptance from your significant other, to family and friends. As I chatted with other girls, they struggled with the same issues as I did. Having that support and love brings about a bond that begins a unique and lovely friendship. We understand each other, through our shared experiences and of our belonging to our community. Even from great distances our friendships can be as strong as any in life. The advice and support I received from all my friends was invaluable in helping me accept myself and my feminine identity. What is most important to me is how my friends have said if I ever needed to, I will be always there for me. To have so many wonderful sisters in my life is a truly uplifting experience. I have had the opportunity to meet a few friends in person and have shared so many wonderful experiences with them.

Friendships between women is unique and emotional, with an abundance of empathy. It is much deeper than friendships between men, it is full of understanding, and support. I feel I can tell my girlfriends anything and they will not judge but let me know how they feel about what I am going through. I can share my journey with my friends, and they will share their journey with me. My girlfriends are always there to provide shoulder to cry on, just knowing all of you are there for me makes a world of difference.

I want to thank you all for lifting me up with your words of encouragement and support. I have cultivated many strong, supportive friendships with other women in our lovely community. Kandi’s Land and other sites have created a network of support in the crossdressing/trans community that can help me and other girls to overcome challenges that we find common. The biggest difference between friendships between men and women, is telling each of my friends how much they mean to me and how much I LOVE each and everyone of them. You have all made my life as a woman more meaningful, and full of joy.

Thank You,

Love Julie


21 Responses

  1. Great photos Julie, you look so beautiful. Plus, you have a wonderful smile.

    I wholeheartedly agree with you about female friendships. You have said exactly what I have experienced. Thank you for writing this post.

    Your friend,


    1. Thank you so much Jocelyn, that are such sweet compliments. I have such wonderful friends, it is such a joy to have you as a friend. I am glad you enjoyed the post.


  2. Julie, that was a lovely post and so true. What was a revelation to me was the realisation that even those who seemed to have the whole gender transformation lifestyle fully nailed down were often experiencing the same frustrations & anxieties as I was. And that in turn, helped my own self-acceptance and evolution. Life has dealt us all a challenging hand but knowing that others are playing with exactly the same deck as we are is a huge comfort when we’re struggling to cope.

    And the dress in the photo is off the scale gorgeous!

  3. Thank you Amanda, I love that dress. Just having such wonderful friends who I can relate to so well has been instrumental in helping me be the woman I am today. The journey has had so many ups and downs over the years, but it is one I have never regretted. If we can accept who we are, all other things will work out in the end. It has taken many twists and turns to come to this point in my identity.

    I am so grateful to have you and all the other girls in my life, and am blessed to call you all friends.


  4. Julie,
    We can never underestimate the value of our community , it’s so hard or even impossible to find our way forward at times . Self belief and a lack of understanding from others can leave us feeling isolated , with no one to share our thoughts and problems with . I could have never moved on to being full time without the contact with others travelling similar paths .

    1. All of you girls have been such an inspiration to me, you kindness and support help me accept my dual gender identity. You will have a special place in my heart.

      Love you all

  5. Julie,

    The sentiments you expressed in this wonderful article mirror what I have experienced in my life as Fiona. The relationships I now have with other women have enriched my life tremendously. Thank you for expressing it so eloquently mon ami.


    1. Thank you Fiona, for your friendship and support . We belong to such a wonderful community of women, I feel so proud to be a part of.


  6. Julie, yes it’s important for girls like us to find friends or allies that we can share this part of ourselves, being alone in this is very difficult
    I have a few cis girls who I call friends and support me as Rachael and I know they would be there if needed
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts

    1. Rachel, acceptance is such an important think for any person. With the difficulties and challenges we all encounter having friends to confide in make all the difference in the world. I am making so many friends during my journey of gender identification, with out all of you I would not be the confident girls I now am.


  7. Well, I might have written a time or two about my experiences with the women whom I’ve met and those who I am friends with. They provide me acceptance. My wife tolerates my dressing; my friends accept and support it. A tremendous difference. My web of being accepting by women continues to expand and evolve, for which I’m very grateful.

    I always say men do things (golf, fish, watch sports, etc) and women talk. Women will get together just to talk. To be invited into that world is special.

  8. That is so true Dee, and we talk about things from the heart, which is so different from male friendships. Dee, you are a beautiful woman and I am so glad to know you. My wife does not tolerate my feminine side yet, but there may be some hope for me, I think she is beginning to see this is not something that will go away. It remains to be seen if she gains an understanding and possible acceptance.

    When I hear all the stories from all the wonderful girls I have meet on my journey of self acceptance. It has made all the difference in how I see myself. Friendship is a most wonderous thing. I thank you all for being a part of my life as a gender diverse person.


  9. Thank you Julie. Wonderful to read this and to have a friend like you.
    Friendships are a beautiful thing and as if to prove your point it would seem rather awkward and strange for a man to express themselves to other men in the way you shared your feelings in this post but perfectly natural and reasonable for women. I cherish those friends I’ve made and can talk to as a female. It’s wonderful to have an outlet for those feelings where you will be met with understanding and kindness rather than ridicule. And I too have made many online friendships that only happened because we have in common this feminine side that is basically inescapable. I think the wonderful people on this site are simply beautiful and understanding women. I really appreciate the wisdom, kindness and inspiration I get from all of you.

    1. I am so glad you enjoyed the essay. I love each and every friend that has become a part of my life and it is a special unique friendship. I is so wonderful to get to share my feeling with other girls. I cherish all of the wonderful friends on this site.

  10. I don’t get it—if I read you right you’re narrowing it down to T-girls.Women of all types make good friends and are very open with each other and us I don’t negate my T-girl friends but there is more to womanly friends than just them

    1. Emily you are so right, but I think we are women just like any other women. I am not excluding genetic women, I see no difference. The point I was trying to make is that friendship between women is unique and much more emotional.

  11. Emily ,
    We must appreciate that many have only T-girls but being transgender does mean there is a female support and understanding .

    I’ve been through that and realise what that means to many helping with support to gain confidence , I wouldn’t be where I am now without that stepping stone . I can’t deny open society is slightly different , response from GGs takes time and patience , it’s a gradual process of gaining understanding and support from them , I’m now in a situation where many of my friends see me totally as Teresa . At times I do have tread carefully , the male in me can sometimes surface without warning , at those times I have to pause for a moment to collect my thoughts as a woman .

  12. Hi Julie,
    Thank you for this post. It is so true and so well written. I think Amanda has some competition 😋. I’m always a little jealous of you girls who are so adept at expressing your feelings. I do struggle with that.
    It really is amazing at how different the relationships between women and between men do differ and until I read your post I never really thought about it. Thanks again for the post and I look forward to many more. Luv ya girl.

    Trish ❤️

  13. Thank you Trish for the kind comments, I am so glad you enjoyed the essay. Being able to share my life with all my friends is such a joy. I love all the things you girls shared with me. It is truly a special friendship, one I cherish.


  14. Well, Dear Julie, I certainly enjoyed our first conversation a few weeks ago, and look forward to many more. I will call you after my 3 week trip to Minnesota and France!
    You are right about the difference in relationships between women and men.
    One of the things my feminine side brings out is the warmer closer relationship.
    And “we” women, care and listen better.

  15. I enjoyed talking to you as well. I hope you enjoy your trip, where are you going in France? That sounds exciting.
    I find the friendship between women to be very rewarding. That is true “we” do care and listen better than men.

    Love Julie

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