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The Excuse Paradox

Right to the point!

“Excuses are the nails that built the house of failure.”  

What’s your excuse as to….

Why you’re not in the relationship you want?

Why you are not financially secure?

Why you don’t have the quality friends you want?

Why you have not transitioned?

Why you can’t gather the courage to leave your home dressed enfemme?




I’ve got news for you.  It’s because you don’t want it bad enough. Sorry snowflakes.  I tell it like it is.

If you did what was required, you’d have “it” or be on your wat to getting “it”.

You must have a white hot, all consuming desire, no excuses, kick butt and take names kind of obsession or you’ll quit before you’ve realized anything worthwhile.

The vast majority of people are just not willing to do what it takes.

People know I coach and mentor people. They ask me what you told people and now they are making $400k or $1,000,000.  

I tell them and for most of the people, their answer is… “I’ll do anything except what required.”  

What’s required is HARD WORK. But not the type of work you’re doing now.  It’s intelligent action combined with the right financial vehicle that will multiply your hard work.

Then they go back to their hourly wage job wondering why they’re in the same spot they were 5 or 10 years ago.

If your standard is convenience, your predictable outcome is failure or at best… mediocrity.

Class dismissed.

Be Strong 💪 

Gwen Patrone 



2 Responses

  1. Gwen,
    Ouch !!
    So how to reply ?
    When I ask myself those questions the immediate answer is , ” Because I care ! ”
    We are shaped grately by our upbringing , I grew up with a background of putdowns and my efforts never being good enough . Self belief becomes hard , achievements are something others achieve . I understand what it means to dig hard within yourself before you can defeat the self doubts . In these circumstances also having trans issues didn’t help because you also have to live with shame and guilt . Looking back on my life I personally now believe I worked miracles , against the odds I married , had children establlished a very succesful photography business and renovated two homes for my family and then two homes for my son and daughter . I know the true reason was I pushed too hard to prove something and also attempt to bury my trans feelings . The end result was an almost total burn out leading to deep depression in which I almost ended my life .
    Th great news is I discovered I wasn’t too old to start a new life as Teresa , I’m done with making excuses and feeling bad about decisions I no longer feel pressured to make , I’m now free to be happy !
    Gwen , please think hard about the comments you make , excuses don’t always mean failure because they don’t measure up to your life . If people are content with their lifestyle perhaps it’s best to allow them to enjoy their version of happiness .

  2. I have a different take on this. The operative word in the first line of the piece is ‘failure’. With the possible exception of financial security, none of the things listed are necessarily failures if we don’t define them as such. A subject quite close to my heart on the list is leaving the home enfemme. I’ve done it twice and in an ideal world I’d do it a lot more. But I don’t adjudge myself to be a failure for not continuing to do it because I have reasons for not doing it – in short, I’m not prepared to operate within the level of deception that it would necessitate. But that’s a very different scenario than declaring one week that I’m ‘definitely’ going to do it within the next three days and the following week making excuses for not doing it – ‘it was raining’, ‘my neighbour was out washing his car’, etc.

    I would contend that the most successful people in life have many more ‘failures’ under their belt than most. They’re successful because they take personal responsibility for those failures and learn from them. They may seek to explain those failures by saying that they failed to take enough notice of external forces but they don’t blame the external forces themselves.

    Most of us don’t embark on life’s journey with the aim of becoming a millionnaire and so have not failed if we don’t achieve those dizzy heights. But if we do want to achieve that and blame anyone & anything but ourselves when we don’t then the questions of whether, deep down, we really wanted it in the first place and, if so, whether we tried hard enough to achieve it are very valid ones to ask.

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