Search
Close this search box.

The Art of It All

All originally posted on Flickr, reprinted here with Alex's permission. She is one amazing human being that I am proud to call a friend.

By Alexandra

I’m a canvas of flesh and bone. On occasion, I like to paint my face and dress my body with fine fabrics. Of course, men have done this for millennia across many lands. The difference is that sometimes men decide to use paints and fabrics society has deemed appropriate for the female gender. I’m one of those men.

In the early days, I dressed stupidly. My makeup was messy and I would wear stuff that was inappropriate for my age, obviously reflecting elements of sexual fetish. I would typically dress piecemeal, an incomplete attempt at a feminine ideal. Sometimes, and it is only apparent on reflection, my outfits were horrid Frankensteinian mixes of articles and accoutrements. During this time, the dream was to dress “full up,” to go full monte. In 2006, that dream came true when I dressed entirely and completely like a woman. This, of course, was followed by venturing into the wild fully dressed, from car trips to conferences to clothing stores.

Since those formative days, my crossdressing has evolved into artistic expression at the expense of sexual expression. I feel this evolution followed an abbreviated form of maturation for Alexandra – birth, infancy, adolescence, and finally adulthood. Now, my objective is to reflect a personal ideal, my archetype of the woman I find attractive, alluring, interesting, even unattainable.

Of course, my face and body have limitations when it comes to expressing this ideal to my satisfaction. But, that’s ok. I don’t actually want to be a woman, after all. Now, the objective is to physically portray a woman of a certain age, one who is confident but sometimes vulnerable, chic but sometimes playful, coy but sometimes aloof.

Coming full circle, it is fun to dress in a manner that is respectful, interesting, and attractive while also suggesting a provocative aspect. Though attracting a man’s attention is the furthest from my desires, it is nevertheless affirming when a heterosexual man finds my Alexandra persona attractive. It is perhaps the highest of compliments, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel guilty about this. I don’t mean to mislead or otherwise play games with people.

It’s all very Freudian. But it is also very Rembrandtian.

Dress: Rabbit

Shoes: Katy Perry

Hosiery: Cecilia de Rafael

Bonus Post: Crumbs

Well, like that sad moment when emptying a box of your favorite cereal, we have come to the crumbs. I prefer this metaphor than the one I had considered, which was “scraping the bottom of the barrel,” which conjures something quite different and negative.

In this case, this is the last photo in the Keystone 2023 archive. Those that remain are repetitive or otherwise not interesting, with a smattering of horrific.

I’m not sure when I will get gussied up again. I suspect it will be in November or so, when I take a day off and head to a hotel overnight, hopefully to meet with a friend for lunch or coffee. That sort of thing will be my M.O. from now on: short, infrequent jaunts into the wild to meet a friend or friends for good conversation.

So, until then, which seems an eternity away, I will lurk about and enjoy photos and commentary posted by others. I have a lot of catching up to do in terms of leaving much deserved accolades with friends and those I admire from afar!

Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. I wish you the very best 🙂

Dress: STATE

Cardigan: Calvin Klein

Boots: Charter Club

Hosiery: Tiffany Quinn

Share:

6 Responses

  1. HI Alex – Once again you have expressed the thoughts that are going on in my mind and find so difficult to articulate. When I first read one of your articles a while back and you began to discuss crossdressing as an art form it really hit home, and still resonates. Like you, I also desire in my female persona to “…portray a woman of a certain age, one who is confident but sometimes vulnerable, chic but sometimes playful, coy but sometimes aloof.” All things I am not, never have been, but desire to be and can strive to project though my alter ego. I’m a long way from attaining that, but my imagination and desire to do so keeps me moving forward. I find the quest quite satisfying and fun, and it’s good to hear from one who knows that it is a good place to be.
    All the best,
    Kris

    1. Thank you, Kris! I’m glad the way I approach crossdressing is shared by others. Sometimes, I feel a bit “out of water” as I don’t identify with the LGBTQ community; indeed, I suppose it would find resonance among the fetish crowd, but I don’t care for that either 😀

  2. It was so nice meeting you again briefly at Keystone. I had asked you for your opinion on a wig I was considering purchasing. You always look so lovely. I like yourself have been dressing a long time. For a long time I struggled with finding answers to questions that there is really no definitive ones. I have reached a level of some peace in dealing with my femme side. One of the best things about belonging to our community is all the really nice people you meet.
    Yours Terri

    1. Hi Terri – that was so fun seeing you at Keystone! And I couldn’t agree more about reaching a level of peace. Sometimes, there are those in the community that push away analysis of our condition, which I think is a grave mistake. Self reflection and assessment is key to defining ourselves as individuals. Doing this, as well as finding ways to understand human behavior generally, leads to peace and contentment.

  3. Dear Alexandra,

    As I continue to reflect, journal and read, every insight informs me – yours more than most.

    “Canvas of flesh and bone.” Wonderful. “..respectful, interesting, attractive…..suggesting a provocative aspect.” Well put.
    “Highest form of compliments….don’t want to mislead.” That is so very true, now that I think about it.

    And both photos are phenomenal, especially the latter one. Eager for your chance to dress again. Now that my wife is supportive, I do get to dress more, but so far, not the full makeover, which I believe she is warming up to.

    Thanks again for your amazing, helpful, insights

    Love,
    Crystal

    1. Thank you for those thoughtful compliments, Crystal! And I do hope you get the chance to go “full up”, especially with your wife’s support. I’m very pleased to hear that!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Kandi's Recommendations

If you have been looking for an economical permanent hair removal solution, I cannot recommend this highly enough! It costs less than a single session at a laser hair removal place. It is almost completely painless and it actually works! I have been on an eight year quest for something like this!

 

Featured Posts

Get The Latest Updates

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Sign up for the first look at Kandi’s outfits, blog posts, and product recommendations.

Keep Reading

More From Alexandra