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"Screw it, let's do it."

As Sir Richard Branson, whom I’ve had the privilege of collaborating with has stated…

“Screw it, let’s do it.”

So last night I’m at a cis gender club.  I stood 6’6″ with 3 inch heels. I wasn’t trying to blend.  Cleavage, nips, curvaliscious everywhere.  Amazon Queen.

I wanted reaction and I got it.

I’m a writer and I like to observe reactions of people.  A table of six girls, maybe late 20’s, would tap each other on the shoulder, whisper, then turn around and peek at me as I stood near the entrance.  I walked over to them, introduced myself and said, “HI, my name is Gwen. I couldn’t help but notice you looking at me. What would you like to know?”  

I always try and be an embassador for the community.  It took some guts but they were so happy I came over. “Yes, I’m Trans and the conversation went on….”

After about 15 minutes, I went back to my spot on the periphery of the dance floor.

A very attractive woman walked up to me and started a conversation.  “I love your necklace”.  Great pickup line or so I thought.  One question after another.   “Do you like women or men?”, she eventually asked. “I prefer women”, I told her.  “Really?”, she replied.   She was looking at me like she wanted me to take her in the woman’s room and do her right there.  Certainly a bucket list thought if there ever was one.

But after a song or two had passed and small talk along with some touchy-feely casual contact as we needed to get closer to hear one another, she continued, “My boyfriend is across the dance floor, so I have to go.”  Talk about deflation.

Some “boob level” guys walked by and almost pulled a muscle looking up. Then laughed and moved on.  I couldn’t quite tell if them saying, “Holy Shit” was good or bad.  I’ll take the former.

Two girls walked my way, heading towards the exit and as they passed me, said, “You look so hot 🔥 “.   Hmmm that was certainly nice to hear.  Immediately popping into my head, “Yeah, not nice enough to get even one guy to ask me to dance.”  

So I suppose a lesson learned from last night…

Own it.

Embrace it.

Let YOU be YOU.

I no longer expect guys to approach me. I must have gone to many dozens of clubs over the past few years and have yet to have one guy buy me a drink or ask me to dance.  Sometimes, some things are not worth concerning myself over. It just is what it is. All I can do is be the best ME I can be!

I just go to enjoy the music and energy.  It brings me, for a brief moment, back 40 years ago to my clubbing days.

Oh, um sorry, I got caught reminiscing.

You only get to live your life once with no restart button.  All we can do is course correct as new awarenesses come to our consciousness.

Should this awareness take root, it’s up to you to feed it or let it die.

How beautiful and magnificent do you want your flower to shine?  

The world needs you to shine.  But shining alone in solitude isn’t the same thing as being in public.  It will take courage to put yourself out there but you can do it.

Be Strong 💪 

Dr. Gwen Patrone



9 Responses

  1. I have been drawn into some of the most interesting and intimate conversations with women when I go out, something that never happens when in male mode.. (A few have even dragged me out on the dance floor, which is definitely not my strong suit.). This came as a revelation to me. I wish I had known 30 years earlier!

  2. I’m not into clubbing but I go out and just do ordinary things a women would do, usually grocery shopping.
    I don’t fully pass but yes I just own it and know I belong out as a girl.
    I’m going to be me as you point out and just hope I don’t embarrass myself or the trans community as a whole.

    1. I first went out in the early 80s. Years ago there was a completely different atmosphere towards us ladies. Today it’s much better I think. I really don’t care if I get read. All I know that when I’m enfemme I feel so myself. One of biggest benefits of belonging to our community is all the very interesting and really nice people I have met.

  3. I love reading about outings and the adventures we get into in our journeys through this marvelous world of crossdressing. Yes, being out being ourselves is not a hobby it’s our expression of our soul for the world to see a glimpse of us. I have gone out as a group with a friend and by myself and all of my outings are special and are always different. So ladies have fun be you

  4. Gwen,
    I did giggle at some of what you wrote. Living life as a cross dresser is so very, very interesting, isn’t it?
    Have a happy holiday!

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