This is a pet saying of mine. This described my volunteering and what Kandi had become.
A very selfish unselfish lady.
I am a selfish SOB. I want to be happy. I want to have fun. I want to look pretty. I want to be loved. I want to be accepted. I want to be the best husband. I want to be an even better father. I want to be popular. I want to be at ease. I want to experience new things. I want to laugh. I want to love. I want to be loved. I want to smile all day, every day. I want to be admired. I want to be valued. I want to mean something. I want to win the race, not just run well. I want to make a difference. I want to excel. I want to beat your behind competitively. I want to win. I want to be the best. I want to be noticed. I want that moment when you know that dress is…….you! I want that feeling when you achieve something you never thought possible. I want to be appreciated.
I have achieved some of these goals, fallen well short of many others. I am no different than anyone else.
But I get much more satisfaction from others. I want my family to be comfortable. I want my family and friends to be happy. I want to see you smile. I want to make you smile. I want to get that hug, that meaningful hug. I want to help others, even if it only means I make them smile for that moment. I want my chosen charities to thrive, succeed. I want us all to just get along. I want us all to remember, we are all different. I want you to love whoever you want. I want you to have someone to love. I want you to have a job. I desperately want my businesses to flourish, not just limp along as they have been. I want you to achieve the long lost American dream. I want you to help me preach my gospel.
I have significant character flaws. I truly have an inability to be creative in the context of finding that opportunity, creating the life I seek. My mind is process oriented, not forward looking or with the ability to see outside the box. I am stuck in the box. I used to love that box, now it seems like a cell. And using that analogy, I know what that means.
When dressed, I have had drinks purchased for me. I have had total strangers walk up and ask to give me a hug. I have been complemented thousands of times. I have had meals paid for. I have felt like a million dollars. I have been truly blessed, but not without my share of life’s challenges.
None of this matters if we don’t learn to accept each others differences and just love each other. Be selfishly unselfish. Give and take. Love and accept love. Move society forward.
This is one thing a preach. Spread kindness. Smile at someone today. Open a door. Compliment a stranger, it costs you nothing and it could mean the world. Your small act of kindness may help turn someone’s bad day into a good one. It may at least, even for a moment, give someone hope.
13 Responses
“And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make” – Lennon/Mc Cartney, “The End” from Abbey Road, 1969.
❤️
Wonderful thoughts Kandi.
I love your phrase “selfishly unselfish”.
I do my best to help people who need and deserve help. Unfortunately I am not very accepting of those people who harm themselves. I am flawed.
I try to love everyone.
Jocelyn
And that is all we can do!
Kandi,
The World thrives on us being imperfect , perfection would be boring !
The joy of giving outstrips the joy of receiving . Should we question if we are selfish or not ? To a point we need to be selfish to enable us to build our stengths , we can only openly give if we are strong oursleves .
I try to be a very independent person , trying to ask very little of others , sometimes I do ask if I’m worthy of that but I never question the worthiness of others , I would always give if I can .
I may be biased but I feel a transgender person knows how to dig deeper to give more of themselves , many of us know what hardships life can inflict on us , the struggle to find your true self and being allowed to accept that truth . To find ourselves means we have to learn how to love ourelves and in doing so we can find that love and belief in others .
To be considered selfish or not is so hard to answer when your life is in the wilderness , it’s all too easy to give into the guilt of others accusing you of being selfish . When you finally see the light we realise how much others have been selfish to you .
As we have always said, none of this is easy, none of this is the same for each and every one of us. You have lived that.
Being who we are makes us vulnerable
And so yes we stand out but if we show ourselves to just be kind and caring then all the silly headlines about how we threaten those who don’t agree maybe go away.
Yes I doubt it but I’m a faith believing Christian and this has always been a struggle for me but I know I should love others and be kind to even those I may not agree with. We are all better for it if we do
Amen, sister!
Rachel,
I’ve often thought about the ” OBJECTORS” when they talk about the threat we pose but we never get a logical answer because we actually pose little threat to anyone . Most of us have been or are in a marital situation , we’ve cared for our wives and family , wearing a dress doesn’t change that in fact it possibly makes us care more if we’re given the chance .
The bathroom debate still rumbles on and I admit some CDers/transgender people don’t use their common sense , for many women their toilet/bathroom facilities are a safe haven . Not only for themselves but for protecting small children and feeding or changing babies , lets not also forget some bare the scars of abuse , the last thing they want to see is an obvious man in a dress possibly even with facial hair . I admit I haven’t had a single problem with using female facilities one or two have objected ( ex-wife, one or two friends ) my simple answer to that is I can hardly use male ones besides there is the possibility I could have walked passed them without them realising it .
Kandi,
Beauty begets beauty. Thank you for spreading that wonderful message of internal beauty.
Yours is the philosophy of life we should all “labor” under.
Lisa
😊
It’s true that unselfishness is the greatest selfishness and it’s better to give than recieve. I know you’ll be blessed for the good you do whether here or in the next life. As far add I’m concerned, you certainly deserve it Kandi!
Lizzy, it pleases me so much that we are helping you with your journey here!! Love you girl.