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Gwen tells us about a situation that she navigated very nicely!

I went out last Saturday evening and I decided to go to a bar called Blue Martini which I had heard about from numerous people.
There happened to be a high energy club adjacent to it and if any of you know me, I like to dance.

Anyway, I’m by myself and decided to go to the club called Cavo.  The bouncer checking ID seemed nice enough so I shuffled in line until I was next in line.

Now you have to understand that I’m 6 foot 6 in heels and blonde hair thus I tower about most everyone there.  

Gwen Don’t Blend.

I was digging in my purse to get my ID (male identification), but before he sees it he says, “Sorry but no collar, no entry”.

Uhhh. I was shocked.  I said, “You require collars for women?”  He replied, “What does your license say?” After which I replied, “Does this outfit look like it has a collar? Besides, my license is to show age and I identify as a woman, thus am I to assume you are saying I can’t get in us because I’m transgender?”

After going back and forth a few times, the manager moves over.  He wasn’t far away and probably observed the entire event, maybe even heard it.  

“What’s the problem?” he asked.  The bouncer told him I had no collar and guys are required to wear a collar in to get in the club.  I told him, “I identify as a woman so this silly rule shouldn’t apply and honestly seems to be oppressive.”

Long story short, he eventually waived me in.

My point is to have confidence.  I don’t have any animosity towards the bouncer. He was just doing his job and maybe trying to impress the manager with his screening skills.  Who knows.

Don’t be so quick to pass judgement.  

We don’t know the back story.  Besides, it’s important to stay calm under pressure to make sound decisions and not emotional ones which can turn out badly.


Also remember that others are observing.  Set a higher standard that when observed, those watching will think, “Wow, they handled that well”. This will impact future interactions they have with those in our community.

Be Stong. 💪 
Gwen Patrone



3 Responses

  1. Great job! You were positively open and assertive, and I would guess that your demeanor went a long way towards resetting at least one person’s mind.

  2. Ok I admit it I thought this was going to be you were going into this place and didn’t know it was a BDSM club LOL, but good for you being you and as they say owning it

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