Michelle,
So much of your interview I was nodding in agreement .
Some get very heated over the comment , ” I feel like a woman ” but you raise a very good point , we can hardly say I know what it feels like to be a man , the truth is we can only say I feel like me , whatever a transgender person feels like . I appreciate some can’t accept that , you can’t feel like a woman because you have a penis but our brain doesn’t see it that way basically we all need something to go for a pee !
At 74 my generation placed us one of two boxes , male or female . A boy /man had to do what society expected them to do , lets not forget this was a time when homosexuality had just become legal but very few if any had heard the term transgender . Deeply closeted crossdressing was frowned upon even to the point of possibly being a mental illness .
It also kicked off for me at the age of 8-9 but I had a problem as my testosterone kicked in early , so despite my deep desire to wear my sister’s clothes , it became sexual . The problem was being so young I was traumatised , I just didn’t understand the two sides of my feelings . It took me some time to set aside the sexual content to realise I just wanted to dress like a girl but I still wasn’t sure if it was something I would grow out of . Perhaps marriage would help and then having kids but no it didn’t go away but the guilt and shame became worse , I was a husband and father who wanted to be something else .
After nearly ending my life in my forties my GP referred me to counselling , that was the turning point because I finally came to accept the term transgender . I had mixed emotions , it felt good talking and understanding but also scary as I didn’t know where it would lead . In 2018 I separated and began to live fulltime as Teresa , it was an inevitable outcome , I had to build a new life in a new town but it felt good , I was who I needed and wanted to be . When you talked about acceptance I was totally with you , when you are free to experience it , it is all around you , I have joined art groups and other groups , I have played tennis , I have been on holidays and this year have booked a cruise without a single problem .
Transition is now far more flexible , living a normal life in society is what it means to me , my anatomy is private to me and in everyday life it makes little difference , I have far more friends now than I ever had as a man . Last year I applied for a formal name change so now all my documents including passport and driving licence are in the name of Teresa designated with an F .
Finally I haven’t lost as much as I feared , I often go out with my daughter , my son is OK with me and I cook a meal for my mother every other Sunday , for those who can’t accept me I’m afraid it’s their problem not mine .
Again many thanks for your wonderful video , I’m sure it will help those who want to make the first tentative steps , it proves we are not alone , we are a special group in society with much to give .
One question , do you visit the UK often to catch up with family ?
2 Responses
Michelle,
That is an extremely impressive video.
You tell us all of your journey. What a wonderful experience for you. Well done.
Your joy shines through your face.
We all have good times and bad. You are an inspiration.
Thank you for sharing.
Love,
Jocelyn
Michelle,
So much of your interview I was nodding in agreement .
Some get very heated over the comment , ” I feel like a woman ” but you raise a very good point , we can hardly say I know what it feels like to be a man , the truth is we can only say I feel like me , whatever a transgender person feels like . I appreciate some can’t accept that , you can’t feel like a woman because you have a penis but our brain doesn’t see it that way basically we all need something to go for a pee !
At 74 my generation placed us one of two boxes , male or female . A boy /man had to do what society expected them to do , lets not forget this was a time when homosexuality had just become legal but very few if any had heard the term transgender . Deeply closeted crossdressing was frowned upon even to the point of possibly being a mental illness .
It also kicked off for me at the age of 8-9 but I had a problem as my testosterone kicked in early , so despite my deep desire to wear my sister’s clothes , it became sexual . The problem was being so young I was traumatised , I just didn’t understand the two sides of my feelings . It took me some time to set aside the sexual content to realise I just wanted to dress like a girl but I still wasn’t sure if it was something I would grow out of . Perhaps marriage would help and then having kids but no it didn’t go away but the guilt and shame became worse , I was a husband and father who wanted to be something else .
After nearly ending my life in my forties my GP referred me to counselling , that was the turning point because I finally came to accept the term transgender . I had mixed emotions , it felt good talking and understanding but also scary as I didn’t know where it would lead . In 2018 I separated and began to live fulltime as Teresa , it was an inevitable outcome , I had to build a new life in a new town but it felt good , I was who I needed and wanted to be . When you talked about acceptance I was totally with you , when you are free to experience it , it is all around you , I have joined art groups and other groups , I have played tennis , I have been on holidays and this year have booked a cruise without a single problem .
Transition is now far more flexible , living a normal life in society is what it means to me , my anatomy is private to me and in everyday life it makes little difference , I have far more friends now than I ever had as a man . Last year I applied for a formal name change so now all my documents including passport and driving licence are in the name of Teresa designated with an F .
Finally I haven’t lost as much as I feared , I often go out with my daughter , my son is OK with me and I cook a meal for my mother every other Sunday , for those who can’t accept me I’m afraid it’s their problem not mine .
Again many thanks for your wonderful video , I’m sure it will help those who want to make the first tentative steps , it proves we are not alone , we are a special group in society with much to give .
One question , do you visit the UK often to catch up with family ?