Kandi

By Cassidy

I first reached out to Kandi after she posted a note and pictures to a cross-dressing site we both frequent. I am not one for responding to posts instead I send off PM’s to comment. I believe it to be a more personal way to express my thoughts.

The first contact occurred during March 2015. Kandi had attended a session at Amanda Richards’ True Colors studio. Since I too had attended sessions with Amanda I wanted to share, learn and understand her impressions and observations. That initial contact led to additional PM’s that morphed into an exchange of email addresses and cell phone numbers. Since the exchange we’ve spoken I believe a couple of times, exchanged text messages and we exchange emails almost daily.

During those exchanges we discovered we have a great deal in common outside of our mutual love of cross dressing, one of which is music. We both share a love of circa 1980’s music as well as a whole host of other music genres. We both adore the music of South Side Johnny and the Asbury Jukes. We also spent a number of years in the financial services industry so we share an absolute love-hate relationship with that aspect of our working lives. Had email, etc. not been invented I dare say we would have been exchanging what is now called snail mail letters as Victorian and Edwardian era women would have done all those years ago.

Over the years I’ve watched Kandi grow into the person she is now, a loving and caring and sharing individual. During the early days she would share the joys and frustrations of attending various GNO events as well as other events revolving around crossdresser centric events. Another thing we share is our displeasure with certain bar and dance club scene events. Speaking for myself, I’ve never been crazy about such places wearing jeans and what have you so why would I want to attend such events wearing a dress fancy or otherwise or skirt and top?

I traveled along virtually as Kandi attended makeup lessons and sessions at I believe both Sephora and Ulta. I could be wrong. Senior moments tend to invade my space from time to time. I also virtually of course tagged along when she booked her first session at a bridal shop.

It was about that time Kandi mentioned she wanted to explore being out and about in different venues. She mentioned she would be contacting various organizations to offer to perform volunteer work. That would not be my cup of tea however I offered as much support as I felt comfortable offering. If memory serves me correctly the early days of her volunteer work began at a local Salvation Army office performing filing and other tasks. She would share with me pictures of her volunteer work outfits that in my opinion were very business professional.

Since that first volunteer gig Kandi shared with me her contacting other venues to offer her services. Some of the venues included the Art Museum, Chamber Music concerts, theater venues and many others. Her ‘mission’ to perform good works continues She also began to attend church services offered by a variety of denominations. After each event Kandi would share her experiences along with pictures of her outfits. Thinking back, the one event I was most impressed me was the time she sent me a picture and a short video of her reading scripture from the pulpit of a church. Damn, I couldn’t do that regardless of what I was wearing.

We would discuss the outings regardless of venue and she would share her thoughts as well as the interactions with people she met. As with most encounters some fall by the wayside while others morph into acquaintances while still others form lasting friendships. Such is the world we find ourselves living in these days.

Our exchanges weren’t limited to dressing and going out. Kandi shared things with me that I will carry to my grave as it is not my place to share them with anyone. Plus I am not one to gossip or whisper behind someone else’s back. A confidence is a confidence and I respect one’s privacy.

During one exchange Kandi mentioned she was going to start a blog. I was supportive. I had to admire her. As we all know crossdressing blogs are numerous as are crossdressing centric web sites. Toss in You Tube just to be safe. As the blog took shape we discussed various ways to monetize it as Kandi was growing weary of her current job status. I was tempted to call it a career however as we all know there is a difference between a career and a damn job.

Kandi’s blog had a down side for me as I was no longer one of her go to person’s when it came to sharing her adventures and pictures. I had to wait for it like everyone else for the daily blog post.

As with I believe all of us Covid took its toll on social engagements as damn near everything shut down. The events and volunteer work that were so much a part of Kandi’s life took a backseat to safety and good health. She in her adventures and me in mine gave way to different discussions once again focusing on a whole host of issues. (As an aside when discussing my adventures in motorcycle repair she will admit to having no clue as to what I was talking about.) I like to think of myself as one of Kandi’s sounding boards. As the world once again started to open up Kandi was back at it with a more aggressive tone in her volunteer work. I believe we both came to the conclusion life was fleeting and we had to live life to its fullest and if that meant an increase in schedules all for the better.

As the blog moved forward Kandi discovered certain limitations evident in it. We discussed options. She decided to move the blog to a different server. (I think that’s the term as I am not at all a techie) We all now share in the fruits of the new and improved blog although I must admit and I reported it to Kandi the pop up advertisements drive me mad. Add to that the algorithms that remind me of other sites I searched, for example motorcycle parts and electric heaters to name two. Who am I to comment as in some way the dream of monetizing certain parts of her life begins to generate income. I was never one to deny anyone who’s trying to make a living. We also discussed and discuss new ventures she is presently exploring. I offer advice when warranted and also keep my mouth shut when necessary as well.

One of my pastimes is cooking on a charcoal grill. I share with Kandi my cooking exploits. She responds with faux anger over the meals I prepare. One more thing to share and discuss. Ah, friendship.

So far, we have not physically met as our friendship grew in the virtual world. We tried to physically get together at the 2022 Keystone event. Life and scheduling got in the way as the Keystone event occurred the week after I’d booked a long overdue makeup session. I couldn’t swing both so Kandi took a back seat to it. So far it looks as though I may get out to Harrisburg for at least a couple of hours for the 2023 event to finally meet, shake hands and share a hug or ten. We all know she is a ‘hugger.’

As we’ve read in past blog posts Kandi gives me a shout out regarding the birth of the blogs and other things. She is the most kind. To me it was merely me reaching out to her to comment on the results of a makeover session. As it turned out we bonded and then became internet friends. It gives me great joy to know I was there when some of it all began.

The life of a crossdresser, transgendered, whatever we are or you are, sucks at times. As you read here, Cass was a friend. We had only met one time in real life but communicated for years (this is obviously an older post). Recently the emails stopped. Since they were not daily, although they were when we started, it took me a minute to realize I had not heard from her. It has now been enough time for me to know she is no long with us (or at least I am assuming so). This has happened to these virtual/online friendships before to me, when someone tries to no longer be the woman they are, but Cass would have told me that. I also had a dear friend pass away, but she was battling cancer, so I knew that was possible as she included my in her cirlce of friends with health updates. My guess, while Cass was senior to me, she passed unexpectedly. I miss you greatly my friend. RIP. You were a sweet soul.