It had been quite a while between dressing for me. Plus my legs were ravaged by poison ivy or something that did not agree with me. Beside the fact that I looked awful, I was also not able to properly groom myself. I saw leg hair for the first time in almost a decade. So I was on the fence about doing this because when I dress, I always do it right (as I define right for me). I made a few wardrobe concessions from my original plan and was thrilled with the results!
I brought out this lovely summer dress, featuring daisies with a teal center. That lead to the necklace, which lead to the shoes, which lead to the oh-so-cute earrings and the bow tied everything together. As silly as this will sound, I wanted to amp up the femininity, so I chose a clutch. There is something about holding the purse, the vulnerability of that action, that just brings it all home for me.
I was aching to do this and went about stretching the outing a bit by hitting the mall, September 27, 2024. I stopped in a favorite store, tried on a far-too-young-for-me dress and settled on a buy 2 get 1 free necklace sale. I just melted at the three uber-feminine necklaces I picked up!!
I was on a cloud all day! Great encounters at the mall, the simple act of walking in public, heels clicking, hips naturally swaying, the dress moving free and easy. You know anyone around you notices you and is doing so in admiration (spoken or not). I stopped for a glass of wine, two ladies were chatting and seemed to pay me no attention. Then one went to the restroom and upon her return she told me she loved my outfit!
I then headed downtown for a Federal Club kickoff party for the HRC (Human Rights Campaign). As a volunteer for the black tie gala the following day, I was invited. It was held in a high end lounge, right across from Progressive Field, home of the Guardians. Notable since there was a game at the same time as the cocktail party. So your truly strolled through all the baseball fans on her way from the parking garage to the lounge. Pure adrenaline! I am not sure I have ever just melted into being, living, breathing my love of being female. My voice softened without thought, my movements were just perfect. My posture that is a woman, staying small in the space I maintained. Arms held close. I just floated and cherished this time. Kandi is a gift to me and one I will never take for granted.
September 28, 2024, the annual HRC dinner and I brought my A+++ game! The layoff has really had an effect on me. It’s different now, more special. I have said that Kandi is “me”, but now Kandi is very much “she”. I always enjoyed my time dressed, now it thrills me to my core, it lights me up. Days like these give my life real meaning, makes me deeply appreciative of the woman that I am, at my center. On this day, in this dress, I felt so perfect and was definitely noticed. Ladies, THIS is as good as it will ever get for me. The legs are still red, but all the bumps and rash gone. My body back to smooth and I can feel a real difference. My mindset has deepened, my body feels softer, much more feminine, I dropped about five pounds with little effort, much like when I accepted myself in 2014. Without getting too personal, now when I am getting dressed, before I put my clothes on, simply a woman in her lingerie, I no longer see me transforming, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me. One I love. A gift. A blessing.
I’m rambling, let’s pick this up again tomorrow!
5 Responses
Kandi,
That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you and you look beautiful! 🤗 I think my hiatus will end sooner than originally thought because things seem to be ahead of schedule with cabinets already in! I miss you!
Sherry
Look forward to your glorious return! Thanks BFF!!
Kandi,
It’s great you found time for Kandi , there’s no denying she is part of you she really does need her freedom and I’m so glad you enjoyed giving her the time .
You raise quite a dilemma , do we really wish to melt in or do we want to stand out ?
It is an odd feeling as a guy I would say I’m average or below in stature , did I get noticed ? Not in everyday life but as a photographer I had to be centre of the action , wedding photographs ( love them or loathe them ) are part of the big day .
At 5′ 7″ I’m possibly average or slightly above in height for a woman , most of the time I’m just getting on with my life so I try and blend in . As for melting in I have experienced those times , thinking and feeling small , arms tucked in and taking small steps . Ironically it’s times like that when someone will take you aside and tell you they love your outfit , (as you commented ) so yes we may not think we’ve been noticed but there’s no escaping the fact we have . Sometimes I have to smile when I’ve dragged something from the back of the wardrobe thinking I’ll wear it one more time and someone comments , ” I love your blouse ” . How many of us have said it’s old and didn’t cost very much ? Why don’t we have some fun and say it’s a top designer item and you only wear it on special occasions .
This week i’ve got to plan outfits as I’m taking another coach trip next week with my National Trust group , it’s so much easier for a man but where’s the fun in that ? My plan is usually to pick out separate items for day and evening , the weather is the biggest problem for the day trips . I know it’s too late in the season for bare legs at the evening meal and later in the bar area but it will still be nice to push the boat out a little , less of the melting in and more of standing out ! I’ll try and get some pics .
I’ve connected with HRC New England and am hoping to get involved with the New England dinner, although I probably will not be able to attend as Tina. At least, not this year… 🤞
Your dress is lovely, and I see a radiance in these pictures, a glow about you that warms the heart. Your “melting” metaphor is completely appropriate, as it shows how natural and “right” it is to be the woman you are. It is a struggle for some of us to let go of our AMAB tendencies and just react in a way that reinforces our femininity.
Thanks so much my friend!