A reminder: Anyone with something to say, the floor is always open! Gigi wrote this as a comparison from the top ten list she read elsewhere where they advanced “essentials” to accomplish some kind of feminization. She believes this content gets back into a previous discussion here on the basic differences between crossdressing and transgender transition, from male to female in specific.
In my long experience (as things turn out), crossdressing and all that it entails embraces self gratification, usually/often as a means of entertainment be the audience of one (self) or 100,000 people in a paid crowd.
On the other hand (for what it’s worth): Since my male-to-female transition commenced so suddenly and completely on March 10, my take on the main differences between my lifelong innate delight of crossdressing (for me going as far back to the age of eight in 1968 and lasting to the very day before I transitioned, 55 years later) and my new life as a pre-operative Transwoman are:
1) The quick realization that everything you wear is now yours, all the time.
2) It is not a temporary self-identification which is signified most if not entirely visibly through the clothing one wears. Gender transition equally encompasses as much the obvious as the entirely unseen, and dominates life’s every single detail for better or worse.
3) Gender transition cannot in any way be a make-believe process that is readily turned on or off to support a desired alternative persona. Whatever new identity “you” assumes as one small part of an overall transition, inevitably has a lot of legal and psychological associated baggage with which “one” must be ready to cope from day one.
To immediately implement, and in my case best reinforce this new coda (I will live with for the rest of my natural life) one huge facet is I currently have an absolute prohibition to wearing blue jeans or even simple cotton socks, if only to be temporary in the long run. Everything from “George” was gone in an instant and went to Savers right away, if only because I had lost so much weight nothing was wearable anyway.
Further, personally I feel that after 60-plus years of wearing day in-day out blue jeans, it has become time for me (Gigi) to go in a different direction. This is not completely a self-centered objective, but rather this is “Gigi’s” subliminal messaging to the outside world that rebuffs society’s ongoing thrust toward underlying masculinization. At this stage, (if you follow me at the age of 64) there is more at stake than personal ease and comfort in trade for the “proper trappings” of permanent feminization, at least as I came to know general femininity a long time ago!
In any case, with no further ado here’s my version of their checklist:
1) Not breast forms but small mastectomy puffs. 24/7, I wear somewhat cheap 52B soft, satin bras in five colors: baby blue, basic black, “nude animal” print, nude and lavender. Color depends on the dressing/laundry cycle in effect on any particular day (i.e. organized randomness). I can now add that since this was originally noted just a week ago, I have begun to sport, er, “titlets” where they will hopefully grow larger to an undetermined extent. I am starting to tweak the existing bra straps just a wee bit as the neo lady parts begin to compress the existing puffs outward!
2) Color Corrector for beard concealment was never on my radar but I do indulge myself a professional facial or exfoliation at Sephora a couple of times per month with “my own face gurus.” My “guy’s” beard shadow was a big problem but currently I am spending beaucoup bucks and time taking permanent care of business via electrolysis. Two main methods are being used, depending on hair tone: Galvanic for gray and white, Laser for black. So far so good! I can tell my electric shaver is working much less.
3) Body shaper (and has been in my case literally for decades) is a very old-fashioned 4x high-waist girdle made by Cupid in nude and black, generally from Walmart. One of my cis female behavior rabbis (and any Transwoman will absolutely need such advice frequently) heartily recommended skimmies, but I just personally prefer my granny’s type of undies. The result is just about the same, especially since I slimmed down big time and it will nowadays just slip into my hips, er, “handlets,” not requiring a wriggling battle as previous.
4) Not perfume but for me just a day to day sweet smelling anti-perspiration roll-on called Sweet Pea from Sauve (again at Walmart).
5) I am an absolute hosiery junkie, so I have no less than six different shades cycled three to six days each (of course several pairs of each!): All from Berkshire’s support collection thanks to formerly poor blood circulation in my lower legs. The Pantyhose has definitely helped to incredibly improve that situation and remain so. Shades are: City Beige, Utopia (brown), Off Black, Fantasy Black, Nude and White. I had a custom tee shirt made which is colored “suntan” and has the following printed on the front: “I (heart) My Pantyhose!” And again a little addenda: I got just as excited as always (back to 2011) this week in 2023 when Berkshire emailed me that it was now time for its semi-annual 25% off pantyhose sale!!! $300 poorer, next week I will receive 36 lovely packages to tide me over until next spring.
6) Lipstick from Day One last March, always Revlon 750 Red, which was what my Mom used for decades since the early 1960’s. Why break a great tradition now?
7) “Classic” Pumps were initially a tough nut to crack what with women’s size 15 feet! Thanks to Kandi and her fashion “in” out in Hollywood (Cali) I was steered to a good supplier and a pretty fair line of products. From Pleaser I first came down with two pairs–one Mary Jane type another patent leather, both black with 2-inch heels. The first pair fits like a glove, the other always requires more effort but is still OK.
For day to day coming this fall I found three pairs of size 15 low heel pumps from Doll’s Kiss that I am now trying to break in: Red, Green and Black one each. All are the same. Left is fine, right requires some adjustment due to a right foot “twist.” My answer was to find three sets of color coordinated “instep straps” to stabilize whatever pumps I wear. When I add great hosiery to pretty shoes, I often do catch eyes following my feet (and has received a sweet comment or two), even if the “rest of me” can appear to be a living “construction zone.” I also need at least a cane to move about, and am handicapped enough to often use a “Mart Cart” while shopping.
8) Facial moisturizers: For me there is one I apply every evening and another every morning after showering, both from Sephora. Hand moisturizing hasn’t really been a consideration this summer, but I’m sure I’ll be joining the legions of ladies battling dry skin as the atmosphere cools off and dries out. Time will tell on this one. What I also notice is my skin is generally softening, likely thanks to the “Dotti” (Estrogen) patches.
9) Not just a Black Dress. As part of my transition, I promised myself, my therapist and anyone who asks that (as also stated above) after 6 decades of blue jeans it was time to move on and so I now haven’t worn any “regular” pants at all in six months!
In July, I finally had to give in and draft two pairs of capris for kicking around, and then when finally resumed PT, I was guided to print Yoga pants (which I simply LOVE!; where have you been all my life?). Otherwise each day I wear skirts in fall, winter and spring then long flowing summer dresses as featured attire.
My color cycle through the summer was 1) a plunging neck design in Royal Blue, Plum, Dark Green and Basic Black. Where I don’t yet have any (much) real cleavage, I add a tee shirt in “between” to cover the um, “space.” Otherwise you’d be looking at the edge of my bra and maybe the puffs themselves! 2) I have a few long flowing “Disco dresses” which I worship: Claret (Red), Deep Violet, blue with gray and yellow print and white with a red/blue printed pattern.
Maybe someday I’ll become reacquainted with blue jeans and/or slacks, but I am in absolutely no rush!
10) Attitude. Well, my own philosophy is to always strive to project the mature (Trans) woman I started to be and live as in March.
No change or adjustment has as yet been required, but will they?
For today: One day at a time!
Maybe this particular subject is best to be discussed more next time!
Love and Best to Kandi and all,
Gigi C.
6 Responses
Congratulations on your transition! Although I am by no means transitioning, I do live an increasingly significant portion of my life as a woman (or as close to womanhood as I can manage). It was interesting for me to compare and in some cases contrast my approach to yours. The areas where we diverge somewhat are in regard to 1) breast augmentation (I rely on expensive Amoena forms), 2) color correcting (being a natural blonde I have no discernible beard shadow), 3) I have a variety of shapewear, which I deploy depending on my outfit. I am slim enough that I can get away without any under slightly less form fitting tops. I use smoothers and waist clinchers with closer fitting attire. 5) hosiery. I have recovered from my addiction to hosiery, and now really only wear stockings or tights in cooler weather, so my inventory shrinking. 6) lipstick….I started out wearing nude tones, but I find I look better with brighter, deeper colors that accentuate my otherwise thin lips.
Thanks for sharing your ten observations. Best wishes on your transition!
Gigi,
Thank you for sharing your story. I enjoyed reading it.
Jocelyn
Gigi,
Your first three points on transition I totally agree with , the one area I find most important is dealing with the ” baggage ” . Going full time raises some unexpected questions especially if you maintain contact with close family and old friends , we have to consider we sometimes place some of our problems on their doorsteps . That’s why I consider consistency is so important so we must also accept oursleves without compromise to gain others acceptance . The legal ” baggage ” does need some careful thought and probably best not to rush into life changing decisions , for example the implications of a name change . I no longer want to travel under a male passport but that also affects my official gender marker , I will no longer be MR . I’ve already had the conversation with my son and daughter and they have no objections , I don’t think they realise all the implications but I know I will always remain dad to them .
As for the way we choose to present ourselves to the World , we know there are no set rules , as Kim points out we all have our own thoughts and ideas , the most important point is we need to be comfortable with how we present oursleves . I vowed never to wear trousers again but reality proved me wrong , in certain circumstances I needed jeans when I walked the dog , or when I mow my lawn , I accept I’m no different to a majority of women in the same circumstances but I will still have makeup on and an old wig to retain some femininity .
Gigi,
Like you I do not wear pants only dresses and skirts. I do wear leggings in the cold weather but often under a skirt. Early on I bought a pair of Levi’s woman’s jeans and a pair of black casual pants. I wore the jeans once and have never worn the black pants because they didn’t make me feel “femme” enough. After reading your comments about pants, I wonder if it’s also because they make me feel too much like the male I was for so many decades.
I am just finishing a bottle of Revlon Red, nail polish not lipstick. It is such a classic shade of red.
No question the decision to fully transition is not an easy one I went over and over if it was right and when I decided still I wasn’t sure and well as it turned out it truly was not the right one.
Being mostly openly fluid those has worked well for me.
I know many would tell me that I’m not being authentically trans but I think it’s my decision not there’s
This is a really great post and definitely brings up all one goes through once the decision is made
Many thanks to those who responded to my Guest Post on September 15. I will do best to make sure that won’t be the only!
Here are a few replies back:
1. Kim says:
September 15, 2023 at 7:44 am
Congratulations on your transition! Although I am by no means transitioning, I do live an increasingly significant portion of my life as a woman (or as close to womanhood as I can manage). It was interesting for me to compare and in some cases contrast my approach to yours. The areas where we diverge somewhat are in regard to 1) breast augmentation (I rely on expensive Amoena forms), 2) color correcting (being a natural blonde I have no discernible beard shadow), 3) I have a variety of shapewear, which I deploy depending on my outfit. I am slim enough that I can get away without any under slightly less form fitting tops. I use smoothers and waist clinchers with closer fitting attire. 5) hosiery. I have recovered from my addiction to hosiery, and now really only wear stockings or tights in cooler weather, so my inventory shrinking. 6) lipstick….I started out wearing nude tones, but I find I look better with brighter, deeper colors that accentuate my otherwise thin lips.
Thanks for sharing your ten observations. Best wishes on your transition!
Gigi C. replies:
Well done. Please “keep your kettle boiling”, Kim! I just wish I had any rich grown hair at all. Maybe sometime first half of 2024. Because of my long-term leg circulation issues, I have always been asked by PCP to layer only 40 dernier (support). Two matched per occasion. My first incursion wearing stockings (1968) dates to the time before pantyhose even existed. Pantyhose is probably my longest, “closest” friend!
2. Jocelyn says:
September 15, 2023 at 9:10 am
Gigi,
Thank you for sharing your story. I enjoyed reading it.
Jocelyn
3. Teresa says:
September 15, 2023 at 9:14 am
Gigi,
Your first three points on transition I totally agree with , the one area I find most important is dealing with the ” baggage ” . Going full time raises some unexpected questions especially if you maintain contact with close family and old friends, we have to consider we sometimes place some of our problems on their doorsteps. That’s why I consider consistency is so important so we must also accept ourselves without compromise to gain others acceptance. The legal ”baggage” does need some careful thought and probably best not to rush into life changing decisions , for example the implications of a name change . I no longer want to travel under a male passport but that also affects my official gender marker, I will no longer be MR. I’ve already had the conversation with my son and daughter and they have no objections , I don’t think they realise all the implications but I know I will always remain dad to them.
As for the way we choose to present ourselves to the World, we know there are no set rules, as Kim points out we all have our own thoughts and ideas, the most important point is we need to be comfortable with how we present ourselves. I vowed never to wear trousers again but reality proved me wrong, in certain circumstances I needed jeans when I walked the dog, or when I mow my lawn, I accept I’m no different to a majority of women in the same circumstances but I will still have makeup on and an old wig to retain some femininity .
Gigi C. replies:
I hope to make my next posting about the challenges with long-existent interpersonal relationships for a mature (in age) pre-operative Transwoman. I went heavily through the absolutely (legal) name changes through May, June and July. Included were work ID’s, License, Health Insurance, etc…That was just 2-4 months starting from the gate due to strong pressure from my employer. This is because my part-time job (I am otherwise retired) is considered “Security Sensitive.” Whatever, in any way dear old “George” has not actually existed now since May 15 per state court order.
I should also add that to fill out a little more of the background, I am lifelong single and have NO familial strings at all. Reaction has been all over the lot.
I no longer have to heft a lawnmower, snowblower or anything else associated with property maintenance which has now all been contracted for three years. Ergo in part, an ability to live with no blue jeans or white cotton socks, plus a lot less perspiration!
In my time though I wrestled with more than my fair share of all of it. My last act was trying to push around icy snow when I suffered my stroke in December of 2019.
4. Fiona Black says:
September 15, 2023 at 10:37 am
Gigi,
Like you I do not wear pants only dresses and skirts. I do wear leggings in the cold weather but often under a skirt. Early on I bought a pair of Levi’s woman’s jeans and a pair of black casual pants. I wore the jeans once and have never worn the black pants because they didn’t make me feel “femme” enough. After reading your comments about pants, I wonder if it’s also because they make me feel too much like the male I was for so many decades.
I am just finishing a bottle of Revlon Red, nail polish not lipstick. It is such a classic shade of red.
Gigi C. replies:
“After reading your comments about pants, I wonder if it’s also because they make me feel too much like the male I was for so many decades.”
Exactly. Call it crossdressing in reverse! Plus in my case however be futile I try to fight the worldwide rush to dismember feminization as I knew it growing up and into adulthood. This was (say) prior to about 1982, which is my arbitrary date for women fashion’s “revolution.” Girls & women evidently perceived and emulated freedoms that men had “enjoyed for centuries.” Was it true? Not if you ask me!
I just think it has been a lot easier for females to wear, wash and use men’s pants than all the “trappings” of true feminization. In my case I think it’s the symbolic zipper “fly” that really annoys me! Women’s jeans WERE regularly worn as far back as at least the ‘30s and ‘40s, probably before. Some had button flies, some didn’t.
5. Rachael says:
September 15, 2023 at 2:52 pm
No question the decision to fully transition is not an easy one I went over and over if it was right and when I decided still I wasn’t sure and well as it turned out it truly was not the right one.
Being mostly openly fluid those has worked well for me.
I know many would tell me that I’m not being authentically trans but I think it’s my decision not there’s.
This is a really great post and definitely brings up all one goes through once the decision is made
Gigi C. replies:
I stayed in “the can” for decades fantasizing, reflecting and praying for my (unlikely) transition as stated above, for 55 of my 63 years. What it is and will be and what it means I honestly know not. When I wholeheartedly “signed on” in March, I understood the assumption of an incredible work load, to re-learn absolutely everything and a lot of anticipated time in doctors’ offices and hospitals. Until failing health and (I deeply trust) He above intervened with an ultimate “answer” One Fine Day, becoming the female I possibly “should” have been through life (undeservedly?) gives me a second chance at a healthy life—physically, mentally and spiritually. In sum, “NOW is my time.”
In my feminization’s wake as much as I possibly can as soon as I can control (call it an “Expedited Gender Affirmation Process”), 1) I have lost 100 pounds after 40 years of obesity; 2) I am no longer diabetic; and 3) have absolutely no blood pressure issues. My PCP told me I have now scored a medical “hat trick” and I KNOW I have”Gigi’s” origin to thank! Some brain damage from my stroke will be permanently no matter what, but things are definitely “looking up!”
As you might rightly conclude, in my case the stars really had to line up to make anything happen at all, and now it’s ALL coming “together.” So far it’s the greatest “ride” of my lifetime!