I am very leery of everyone online. I generally trust no one. But a gentleman Messengered me, and we conducted a bit of an ongoing conversation. He seemed very sweet and lived nearby, so I agreed to meet him. I insisted we meet in a very public place, and we did so at a bar which I am very familiar, in a very LGBT friendly neighborhood. I had no expectations, no knowledge where this would go. Listen, I know the realities of my life and would never want to hurt anyone or damage that, so in my mind, it was simply making a new friend. I cannot lie, it is flattering to be admired by a man, somewhat validating. It almost never, ever happens with me. Okay, this is the first time.
I am no Miss America, I am elderly, and I believe I put out the “I am not interested in that” vibe. I did promise I would wear something pretty (my suggestion), which I did. I also made a bit of a day of it. My last outing, which I had great hope for when meeting a gentleman (for very different reasons), left me expecting to be disappointed. I honestly don’t know what NOT being disappointed would entail. But I had to wear this dress, oh my!
Before you comment, I am aware I am WAY too old for this dress. But do you understand what walking around, place after place, person after person, killing it means? In a recent post, I talked about how the SA at Dry Goods said the dress was girly but worked for me, and I did pull it off, I think…
July 6, 2025, I went on a clothing sale run and then met my friend. While I was waiting for the store to open, in another LGBT friendly neighborhood, a young man asked if he could take my picture. Yeah, why not? Ego fed.
We will not comment here about meeting this gentleman but suffice as to say, I have a new friend. It exceeded my expectations.
Let’s talk about the amazing love I got out and about. I was in my favorite clothing store (sold quite a bit), a Goodwill store (donating what did not sell), the bar where I met my friend, Cleveland’s West Side Market and a liquor store (big surprise there). I used the ladies’ facilities at the market. I only note that because there and every single place I went, including walking about on a blistering 95-degree day, I was told the dress was cute and/or was complimented time after time. Yes, my superpower is dressing myself, but it is also making what is difficult for so many in the current environment, easy. If my advice means a hill of beans, go with the flow, presentation, presentation, presentation and stop pushing an agenda. I have found in thousands of situations, in front of tens of thousands of people, I know of what I speak. But that’s me and I am not you.
I am a horribly conflicted human being. Let me be very clear here, I LOVE BEING A GIRL, I ADORE ALL THINGS FEMININE. That said, let me be even clearer, while I am blessed to be able to do so frequently, very, very regularly, IT CANNOT BE WHAT IT WOULD BE WERE I A SELFISH A-HOLE. This conflict will eventually be my great undoing. 🪦
Let me show you now what joy can be.
Not bad for an old broad, huh?
July 7, 2025, your aged hostess turned yet another yearly calendar page. My absolute BFF, Sherry and I met for drinks and to clear the air. I had written about a “friend” slighting me, guess who that was? I will absolutely stand by every word I wrote (including saying I was over it). I will say that it was about 15% Sherry, about 20% circumstances and the balance was me being in a bad mental place. What happened could not have happened at a worse time. The next day, I don’t even think about it. That day and specifically at that time, it landed very poorly with me. All my fault. Mea culpa.
I had also written at length on my recent Brain Dump. Understand what this blog is to me. My therapy couch. Yes, sometimes it grinds me down. But let me make two statements. Ever see me not smiling from ear to ear? That ain’t fake.
Why post daily? Because I LOVE to write. Love it, love it, even more so that presenting Kandi to the world. I am at my core a creative soul, and if I could do one reset in my life, I would have taken a creative path in my career (maybe keeping me out of government housing and under the thumb of each and every administration). We are not going anywhere.
Sher and I had a delightful few hours. A birthday highlight!
Thank you, my dear, dear friend.
Oh, by the way, I adore my outfit this day.
2 Responses
Kandi,
You absolutely rocked that dress. It was a hot day (albeit not as “HOT” as you look), and you have such a fabulous figure, why not wear something completely appropriate.
I think we all agree with the sentiment, that if you got it, flaunt it. And baby, You Got It!
I’ve told you many times before how beautiful and amazing you look. Another birthday does not change your continual beauty.
Love you,
Jocelyn
Kandi,
I have a few years on you but it still didn’t stop a guy chatting me up and swapping phone numbers , his intention to have Sunday lunch with me ? I’ve told this story before but I did find it difficult to deal with it , no I’m not interested in guys and I guessed neither was he and that was the problem , perhaps one I should have been flattered with . This happened on a coach trip to have lunch on a canal boat while cruising the Leeds-Liverpool canal , he insisted I sat next to him on the boat and he bought me wine . Thankfully it was a table of four so I managed to shift the conversation in the couples direction , I didn’t care that it was a slightly boring one . Obviously I’d dressed in what I thought appropriate for the trip and not for a male companion , would it have been different I can’t honestly say . He passed his phone number to me on the return journey , I didn’t know what to do so I gave him mine thinking when this happens we never get a follow up . A week later he rang to confirm the Sunday lunch booking , I appologised by saying I would be cooking lunch for my mum . After I told this story to her and I joked that I never though my mother could still come to my rescue , the twist was this guy was 90 and chatted me up because his 60 year old girlfriend was on holiday in Turkey , my mum then smiled and asked for his phone number !!
For a very hot day the dress was OK , perhaps a little risky when meeting a guy for the first time but that worked out fine .
As for having good friends , there is no substitue especially real one that you can interact with . I’d had a crappy day yesterday but knew I had to get to my art group today , it was so good to share our problems and find something to laugh about . The icing on the cake was being asked to organise another group tour for my friend’s art group around my old home town but this time to do some sketching after lunch .