When I go out, I just act as any woman would, I never think about anything a woman wouldn’t consider. I am authentic and one thing I know about human nature, people respect authenticity, even if they disagree with you and/or who you are. This has been my experience, over more than a decade, over more than a thousand times out, in front of hundreds of thousands of people. When you own it, when you don’t present a threat or try to shock, you would be surprised how great it is out there! There is a saying, “Get along to get along”. These are tales of a woman enjoying herself and how the world interacts with her. All true, all real.
July 23, 2025, I attended The Elliot’s Birthday Picnic. First, I started the afternoon getting a gel manicure. I have done this before, usually around things like Erie or Keystone. But now, I simply wanted to have pretty nails (although very neutral and explainable if questioned). It is one step further to being as female as possible (I am also growing my own hair, toes painted, female undergarments always and am actively encouraging breast growth). I also did this to remove the nail question from my Kandi preparation process.
I still do not have the guts to get my ear pierced and have my nails more prominent. Maybe…someday… I have not yet solved the puzzle that haunts me, how can I combine making a living with being a woman. Two birds, one stone, more ability to be who I am without jumping back and forth into my income-producing gender roles. I have been in quite a mental state lately. Motivation to work is very low for a few reasons which I will not get into here. And as I have always stated, when my mind is idle, Kandi completely dominates any and every thought. This lack of motivation has left my mind idle, which has me feeling way out of balance toward the female side of me which has me drinking way too much. Been here before, worked through it before, will never shake it, ever. I am still to this day wracked with guilt over how completely joyful being Kandi is for me (I remind you; these smiles are not fake and are always there) while my wife still toils at a job she would rather not have to and combined with her hearing loss, she is aways exhausted. Always. This conflict is not something I think I can resolve, it will be ever-present. Enough blabbering…
The Elliot is a wonderful venue, a converted church. You have seen many pictures of me taken there. I knew no one going in and really didn’t connect too much with anyone while there. But as it always is, it was a great joy to be out, seen, dressed so cutely, just being seen and noticed. Before and afterward, I had some fun trying on dresses in a few different stores. I also stopped at a local pub, again, simply just being. Some great pictures came of this day!
I bought the dress the day prior at H&M, clearance (what else?). I bought it because I am a bit chunky from having had a baby shower for our daughter the previous Sunday. That meant a ton of leftover food and I hate wasting food. The dress is very blousy. But I just couldn’t wear it that way, so I added the belt and was delighted with my look!! One woman commented on how well the royal blue and silver color pallet worked! I am a detail girl, after all…
I Thought This Was a Dinner…
July 24, 2025, you see me here WAY overdressing for an HRC mixer. They always host a gathering a few months before their annual gala to rally support. I thought it was a dinner, but considering the crowd, I guess I didn’t stand out in a negative way. No big story. Sherry was there as well, and we had a delightful time!
Afterward, we had dinner (since I was counting on food) and again, just had a ball. We chatted up a gay couple at the next table, one of which was infatuated with us. We did look pretty good, just sayin’. I am not sure I can pull myself together any better than this.
Thank you, Kris, for steering the ship yesterday and sharing that wonderful post with us before taking it to the masses. Kandi’s Land is an actual, real community of sisters. Once I figure out how to articulate it, I will tell you how special it has been for me recently, behind the scenes, to help so many sisters out there. We are sisters, always!
6 Responses
Thank YOU Kandi – the pleasure and honor is mine!
And must say, your two outfits you’ve pictured today are wonderful! Your superb taste is displayed again, and with a dress as lovely as the one you wore to the mixer it’s not possible to be overdressed!
Best,
Kris
Kandi,
Thank you for deeply sharing your highs and lows. Never forget, just as you are helping others, we are available to help you.
Nail polish is a great pleasure. I always try to have coloured fingernails when I am out. I absolutely love looking at my hands and seeing manicured red nails; so feminine.
You look fabulous in those two dresses. No wonder your smile is bright and happy. You also completely understand that a woman showing off her legs is a sign of confidence and beauty. You have great looking legs.
Love you,
Jocelyn
Kandi, you always find the most beautiful dresses! The royal blue is cute and striking, the belt really helps define your figure. The mixer dress is amazing, it doesn’t matter if you were overdressed. And of course, I LOVE those shoes! 🥰ðŸ‘
Kandi,
I found jumping back and forth and trying to have foot in both camps interferred with my identity , in the end it felt stupid to consider where I was going to be male and where i was going to be female . At first I did try walking my dog in male mode , I feel that was a mistake now as some old dog walking friends still choose to mis-gender me , I hope that doesn’t come back to bite me .
Despite living alone now I have filled my life with many activities , everyone I associate with only know me as Teresa , as I have become involved I need to put a great deal of effort into those commitments , I have to be single minded without the distraction of having a male side to deal with , I also feel I would totally confuse the people I’m involved with . I would say it’s actually easier to only have to think about myself as Teresa .
I also admit I’ve never got round to having my ears pierced , I keep picking up more clippons mostly from charity shops , they always have a large bin full at silly prices so I now have a huge selection .
At the moment I’ve had to give up on painted nails , after seven years my nails needed a rest as they were falling apart , it’s lovely now to see healthy shaped nails even without colour but I will paint them for my cruise .
I love the off-the-shoulder dress , can Kandi ever be overdressed ? NO WAY !
Hi Kandi,
I too have been putting off get my ears pieced (about 15). I know some day I will do it.
And now a prediction. You have entered another slippery slope, gel nails. I have had acrylic-gel fingernails for over 10 years now. At first no color and then within two years color. To follow up on yesterday’s post, I enjoy the random nail envy I get. Get yourself a great manicurist, not a factory manicurist. One who will take good care of your nails. Yesterday’s mani/pedi lasted over 3 hours, I get pampered.
Looking your lovely self as always and you definitely have an eye for fashion
I understand your feelings of going back and forth. It’s a problem for many, and for me I just decided being fluid worked
I can combined my ladies stuff with just being me and it works
But that urge to be totally feminine is there still.
Being gender variant as we are is not an easy road indeed