Group therapy Q of the week hit me right in the feels: “When you first transitioned, what was the first thing you were glad to see gone from your ‘guy identity’?”
For me, it wasn’t one big dramatic moment at first—it was more like gently subtracting the parts of “guy me” that never felt right. Early on, when I was still very much in cross-dresser mode, I went for full-body laser hair removal.
Oh honey, that was the first real “subtract” that felt like freedom.
Let me tell you—the sessions were something else. I’d lie there like a human pincushion while the tech zapped me from neck to toes. Two separate sessions. One day upper torso, the next day, bottom.
The sensation? Imagine someone flicking you with a hot rubber band… repeatedly… for an over an hour.
My favorite part (sarcastic), was the “bikini line” sessions where I was basically doing yoga poses I didn’t know I could do, trying not to laugh (or yelp) while thinking, “This is definitely not in the male handbook.”
But the payoff? Walking out of that final session smoother than a newborn dolphin in heels. 🐬👠
No more five o’clock shadow on my chest or legs that looked like they belonged on a lumberjack.
For the first time, my skin actually felt like it matched the girl I saw in my head.
💥Game changer.
I took baby steps after that—little things I could do while still showing up as male for work, family, and social stuff. I was straddling both worlds like a confused tightrope walker with commitment issues.
Eventually it started messing with my head, so I made the big leap: breast augmentation. Oh yeah, “the girls”. That was my personal “crossing the Rubicon.” I had to do it in two stages because I wanted big girls and they were so important to me that I did not shop for price. I shop for skill. I’m glad I did because I feel that the doctor did a great job boobs are my personal fetish and I’m not embarrassed to say that.
Once those were in place, there was no pretending anymore. I looked in the mirror and thought, “This is me. I’m not going back.” And honestly? 🔥Best decision ever.💕
But Gwen, what about bottom surgery?
A lot of the girls talk about bottom surgery as their ultimate “goodbye guy” moment, and I totally get why—it’s huge for them. For me, after 35 years of marriage and being almost 66, that just wasn’t on the table. Different paths, same beautiful journey. Maybe someday. But as of now, I’m a “best of both worlds” kinda girl 😉
The takeaway? It’s addition by subtraction and addition by addition.
Transition isn’t always one giant leap—it’s often a series of brave little subtractions and additions until you finally feel like YOU. And every single one of them is worth celebrating.
To all my trans siblings out there: keep subtracting what doesn’t serve you and adding what lights you up.
You’re becoming more yourself every day, and the world is better because of your courage. 🩷 Keep shining.
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Dr. Gwen Patrone
#TransJourney #AuthenticLiving #GratefulEveryStep #gwenpatrone #m2ftransgender #transisbeautiful
NORMAL TRANS
*Happiness Looks Good on Us
“Normal Trans. Yeah, that’s me — and the vast majority of folks you never hear about because ‘outrage clicks’ don’t pay the bills like screaming headlines do.
The news and both sides of the political circus love trotting out the loudest, wildest caricatures: either saintly victims or total chaos agents at Pride parades. Don’t get me wrong — I love a good drag show, the energy at a parade is unmatched, and I’ll cheer on anyone living their truth. But that’s the spicy sliver, not the whole pie. Most of us? We’re just trying to be great neighbors, solid coworkers, and decent humans who pay taxes and remember to put the shopping cart back.
After talking to thousands of people like me over the years, the pattern is clear: we want harmony, not headlines. We want to participate positively, not tear everything down. When I meet folks in real life and they chat for five minutes, the line is always the same: ‘Wow, you’re nothing like I expected.’
What DID you expect? The angry activist on the 6 o’clock news or someone swinging from a chandelier in six-inch heels? Instead they get… me. Your friendly neighborhood trans woman who’s been happily married to the same wonderful woman for 35 years. As I like to tell her with a wink: ‘Babe, I’m the same person you married — just happier, and wrapped a little different.’
My old friends (the ones who knew me before) put it best: ‘We liked you as a guy… but damn, you’re so much more bubbly, friendly, and vivacious as a girl.’ Life finally feels like it’s in full color instead of black-and-white. I feel alive. That’s it. That’s the big secret of ‘Normal Trans.’ We’re not that different from you. We just decided to live as we see ourselves, and it turns out happiness looks good on us.
Extremes make for better TV. Normal makes for better neighbors. Let’s talk more about the normal ones.
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See you in the comments or the next post. ❤️
Dr. Gwen Patrone
#gwenpatrone #behappywithyourself #transgenderawareness #m2ftransgender #f2mtransgender #loveyourselffirst
I’M FINALLY ALIVE!
After 45 years of running life in black-and-white as a guy, I finally let Gwen (my Flower) bloom… and everything went Technicolor. 🌈
I never hated being a guy. I just went through the motions, did the best I could, and checked all the boxes. But the truth is, we all have a male side and a female side. Some people are 100/0. Some are 50/50. Some are 75/25. And some of us? The slider just keeps drifting the other way until it’s more like 25/75.
My Flower 🌸didn’t explode overnight. She germinated for decades. Quietly. Patiently. While I was busy being a Marine, a husband, a marketer, and a guy who thought he had it all figured out. Some flowers bloom in a season. Mine took 45 years. And that’s okay. There’s no right timeline. Some never bloom fully and that’s fine too.
My cross-dresser friends are perfectly happy being male most of the time and just letting their flower peek out now and then. Two-spirit. Dual gender. Beautiful. Different paths, same garden.
For me, the part-time blooming eventually stopped feeling complete. So I spent five or six years trying to shove the old male self into a closet and lock the door.
👉 Spoiler alert: that didn’t work.
Turns out a lot of those “guy” traits (the discipline, the grit, the systems-thinking) were actually pretty useful once I stopped treating them like the enemy. I didn’t have to kill half of myself to become whole. I just had to invite both sides to the same table and let them get along.
I’m still figuring it out. Some days the blend feels elegant. Other days it looks like I threw a Marine and a glamorous aunt into a blender and hit “pulse.” But I’m more alive than I’ve ever been.
If you’re in the middle of your own transition, or just wondering if that quiet little flower inside you is allowed to bloom… 🌟you’re not broken. You’re not late. And you don’t have to throw away every part of who you used to be to become who you are.
Sometimes the best version of you is the one that finally stops choosing sides and just decides to be the whole damn garden.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
#gwenpatrone #m2ftransition #f2mtransition #crossdresser #transisbeautiful
