I’m sitting at Starbucks thinking about what I can write today. I let my mind wander and see what the universe whispers to me. I write because I enjoy it and for the purpose of an emotional outlet for me. But the overarching reason I write is to touch the heart of someone reading that really needed to hear my message.
With that, shall we begin?
I wanted to talk about something really important, especially for anyone who’s thinking about transitioning—like I did, from male to female. Transitioning can be a really amazing step if it’s what feels right for you. But before you dive into all the changes, there’s something I want you to consider: it’s super important to find happiness with who you are on the inside first.
When I started thinking about transitioning, I thought it would solve all my problems—like stress, sadness, the evolution of self or feeling left out. But here’s the thing: those problems don’t just disappear because you change how you look or take hormones. Sure, I felt good seeing myself become the real new me, but some of my old worries and insecurities stuck around. I realized those things were about my mental health, not just my gender.
It’s a lot like thinking new clothes will suddenly make you confident forever, or moving to a new school means everything will suddenly be perfect. If you don’t figure out what’s really bothering you on the inside—like anxiety, depression, or feeling alone—those feelings will follow you, even as you go through transition.
Transitioning takes a lot of energy. People have different opinions, there’s paperwork, medical stuff, and sometimes friends and family don’t get it. There’s so much collateral damage to consider.
If you’re struggling inside, it’s even harder to deal with all that. That’s why I really believe it’s important to look at your mental health before anything else.
This is why I wrote Trans Truth, Your Journey To Completeness.
It doesn’t mean you have to be 100% happy all the time. Nobody is! But talking to someone like a counselor, joining support groups, or just finding friends who accept you for who you are can really help. If you start your journey already a bit at peace with yourself, you’ll be strong enough to handle the tough moments. I call it having a spine.
Basically, changing your body to match who you are inside is amazing, but it’s not magic. It won’t fix every problem. So, take care of yourself and work on loving who you are on the inside first. If you do, your journey will be so much better.
Thanks for reading! If you’re ever feeling lost or want to talk, you’re not alone. There are people who get it and want to help.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
You can get Trans Truth on Amazon from the link on the main page
One Response
Gwen,
This is such a useful read , so much I now understand but so much remains hidden before you take the final steps . I totally agree that hormones and or surgery don’t solve all the problems , you’re mental state may change but certain remnants will still create problems , I have friends who have fully transitioned but their lives aren’t Utopia .
Everyday life bites back sometimes , our gender choice can’t always protect us but if we are happy with that choice it can help smooth the edges . A personal example , a couple of weeks ago my car was in for repair but something went wrong in the road test , a rather concerned mechanic rang to say I needed a replacement engine , thank goodness I wasn’t wearing heels otherwise I would have fallen off them ! I admit the male part of me knew what questions to ask but it still didn’t soften the final account .
A second example where being Teresa helped was a friend telling me her cancer had spread and she has only a few weeks to live , the hug was all female , I felt it from my soul to hers , I didn’t cry but it felt so natural if I had .
Being transgender is wonderful because we can release our true feelings and emotions , the meaning of love becomes extended , we can openly declare we do love ourselves and we can be more open with love for others .