By Alexandra Forbes
Here is another photo from the February 2024 “window of opportunity” session. I know I said the last one was the last one, but I was wrong. Sometimes, a rejected photo reemerges as a good one. Odd, that.
I hope you are all doing well. Everything on my end is moving along swimmingly, though not much to report on the Alex front.
Lately I’ve been thinking about the stages of crossdressing I have experienced; that is, the different, distinct forms of expressing the joys of crossdressing that I have apparently followed. Maybe you have experienced it in a similar way; others perhaps far differently.
The first stage is imagination, or the ability to imagine being crossdressed. A crossdresser can tap this capability anytime, anywhere. It is informed by experience, so the more opportunities one crossdresses, the greater the number of volumes of data one can access. This library of information can be used to stretch the crossdressing experience well beyond the physical and temporal; you can wear anything, anywhere, with anyone. Those very deep into crossdressing (and often you will not know who they are) will only imagine themselves crossdressed.
The second stage is virtual. Here, you leverage limited physical crossdressing experiences (e.g., at home) to extend the duration of pleasure through photography and writing. In my experience, the process takes advantage of the few times during the year when crossdressing is possible and photographs are taken of the results. These images are curated so the best are selected, based on a variety of parameters, and are posted to social media or some other site. Personally, I like to augment these photos with commentary. In this way, one can interact with the world, even if it is not physical. It is still quite meaningful. Mostly, those in the closet will explore virtual crossdressing, finding and building a community of like-minded individuals.
The third stage is physical, which of course can go in a myriad directions. In this form of crossdressing, you tend to go “full up” wearing an outfit, makeup, and a wig and get out into the world; that is, beyond your front door. So, on one extreme, you might drive around crossdressed and that’s it. On the other, you effectively go out as your crossdressed alter ego, well beyond the “safe” community of fellow crossdressers to mainstream interactions. It is perhaps at this point that some discover a deeper truth, that they are, in fact, uncovering a true identity that is female in nature. But most are “just” crossdressers out to have a good time with good friends, all of whom happen to wear frocks and know a thing or two about shoes and makeup.
A version of the physical form of crossdressing is to venture into the world en femme without interacting with fellow crossdressers at all, or, if with a friend who crossdresses, seeking to not draw attention to themselves because of what they’re wearing. In otherwords, the joy is about blending in as a female without actually wanting to be. This blending is considered hard for many people to understand because they may perceive such behavior as a desire to transition but with a denial about that desire. In my case, it is the ultimate result of escalating crossdressing to its ultimate conclusion. Having more or less accomplished this feat, there are no major milestones I feel I need to experience. After venturing into the mainstream world crossdressed several times, the buzz of novelty has waned and the drive has diminished. Put another way, in my case, the journey has come to a conclusion.
Curiously, I find that I am relying more on the earlier stages of crossdressing, imagining, or rather remembering previous experiences of crossdressing. They are pleasant memories. But also the virtual, where I seem to be most comfortable these days. The trouble is finding opportunities to refresh the library with new material. That serves as an incentive, I suppose, lest I let the whole thing simply fade away. I think that would make me sad.
I hope you found this interesting. It’s certainly proof that while I may not be as motivated to actually crossdress as much as I did in the past, I still gain significant pleasure in thinking about it!
Dress: SHEIN
LadyShoes: Bandalino
Hosiery: Pretty Polly
6 Responses
Good Morning Alexandra,
It is very nice to see your post here in Kandi’s Land. Your contributions to, and presence in, this web environment are just excellent. Your thoughts and your visual presentations are terrific. Your photos are really, really well done and your look is always interesting, a bit mysterious, and elegant. I hope you continue to pop in here when the mood strikes.
For me the mental and emotional state of being, and the immediacy of the immersion in the elements of crossdressing, are what I enjoy. I have not, myself, pursued many crossdressing milestones, yet, but I believe that I do understand your position vis a vis ‘been there done that’ and now content with other ways of experiencing. Memories, idle thoughts, day dreams; these can all be enjoyable and fulfilling and are just as ‘real’ as physical out and about experiences.
Have a good Wednesday.
Best to you,
Marissa in Ohio
Alexandra,
I’m sure your post describes the journey many have taken and it makes very interesting reading .
The third stage is the most interesting one for me because it’s the point when the penny dropped , the act of crossdressing was the vision I saw and others began to see of something deeper within me . I did have a good time sharing the experience with others but it wasn’t enough . I found through counselling that I wanted to pass onto the final physical form . The term transition was being used which I considered scary , the old definition usually meant surgery , it wasn’t until I finally went fulltime that I realised it’s far more flexible . Unlike you I hadn’t reached a conclusion in fact the adventure was only really starting , I had to learn how to dress to live fulltime and form a new life . I still get a buzz because I continue to push the envelope , my pleasures are now taking holiday trips and joining various social groups , to contribute in society is wonderful . The clothes are just as relevant now because I have to think so much more about outfits for living my new life .
Hi Alexandra, This was an enjoyable and well-written article! My opportunities for the physical form is currently limited, so I find myself relying on and enjoying the other two.
Imagination: I spend a LOT of time imagining what feminine outfit I would wear in just about every occasion in my life. I picture each detail from the underwear to the accessories, selecting outfits to match my mood, the weather, the event, etc. I have an endless budget and closet space haha!
Virtual: I previously used numerous pantyhose ads from the 70s and 80s (the fabulous ones showing women doing everyday things in their hosiery) as prompts for stories with me as the character from the ad. It’s been a really fun way to use my creativity to imagine how I would act as a woman in different scenarios.
continuing to pursue the 3rd stage is very enjoyable and after a while your alter ego develops a new set of relationships. In that phase I have learned so much about women from my interactions with them.If I was younger I might have gone further
I think the third stage is the most rewarding and fun. It takes a lot of work to achieve that feminine transformation and to go out with a close friend is just about the best experience one can have. I don’t have as many opportunities as I would like, but I love blending in when I am out. Thank you Alexandra for your insight, you are a beautiful women.
I love being a part of the crossdressing community, wishing all you girls a lovely week.
Love Julie
Good morning Alexandra,
Thank you so much for your post. Very well thought out and I’m sure touches a lot of us, 17,000 girls can’t be wrong 😊.
Your first paragraph resonates solidly with me. I told my wife I’ve been a cross dresser since the day I was born. Trish is a big part of what makes me the person I am.
The second is sadly something I missed. I was born in 1950, well before the internet, cell phones etc. Up until 5 years ago I was a very lonely and depressed girl. I was living in a small town and had no one to talk to. I had no pictures of Trish until 5 years ago. When I joined Crossdresser Heaven.
The Third stage was the most exciting for me going out as Trish. I was in my late teens
then. I would get dressed and drive to Vancouver spending the day shopping and just walking around town. As I said it was an exciting time but also scary. In the late 60’s trans girls ran the risk of being beaten up or worse and I was all by myself. Sadly to early for cell phones.
But it wasn’t until I found CDH and more importantly Kandi’s Land in 2022 did Trish truly blossom. I had girls to talk to, actual girl friends in my town and best of all photos. Lots and lots of photos.
Alexandra, thanks again for your post it was a thoroughly enjoyable read and the 17,000 girls were right 😋.
Trish ❤️🤗💕