I would like to address a controversial and sensitive topic that many shy away from due to its potential to spark intense debates.
However, I maintain hope that rational and composed discussions can prevail.
The question at hand is:
Are trans women “the same” as biological (cis) women?
Are Trans Women, Women?
What is the definition of “ the same”?
What is a woman?
These seem to be the questions of the year.
With full respect toward those who may hold differing views, I embrace the identity of being a trans woman. I’m more of a logical thinker. I embrace and celebrate this identity. In my perspective, women should be acknowledged as women, and trans women as trans women. Each to be celebrated.
My personal journey involves striving to align more closely with womanhood. Every day I try to be closer but it’s a line I’ll never be able to cross. Mentally, I identify as a woman, but I acknowledge that physically, I may never fully be a woman in the biological sense. It encompasses both mental and physical aspects.
So it boils down to your definition of what a woman is.
Is a woman anyone who says so (identifies)? Or is a woman a biological female?
There’s so many responses to this question. I realize it’s polarizing. In terms of common courtesy, I prefer to be referred to with she/her pronouns and recognized as a woman, although I understand that sometimes I might be addressed as “Sir.” Typically, it is an unintentional reflex, and not done with malice. I simply smile, offer forgiveness, and move forward.
In my opinion, if each of us in the trans community recognized our unique identity as trans women, it might allow society to adapt its traditional mindset more readily and accept us with greater ease.
I see no shame in accepting myself as a trans woman. I love it. I don’t get upset if I’m not a traditional woman in the eyes of many. I’ve accepted this as my reality. I just expect to be treated with courtesy and respect, and I am.
I have little to no control over what others think of me.
Expecting the mainstream public to fully equate me/us with biological women may not align with societal readiness at this time. Changing perceptions and gaining acceptance is a gradual process. Perhaps someday this will change, but it is not today.
It took decades for gays and lesbians to be accepted in every aspect of society, so I don’t expect the transgender issue to be solved quickly. It’ll take time.
To those who may disagree, I respect your right to your beliefs and hold no animosity to you. It’s all good. They’ll be wide-ranging views and I get that. What’s not acceptable and counterproductive to our cause is anger, profanity and violence.
This is merely my perspective on the matter.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
4 Responses
Gwen,
MMM !! Are we back to labels and boxes again ???
Let’s not forget we all start off the same in the womb , the natural progression is female , at some point the male deviates with the combination of genes and becomes a being that can fertilse eggs . It’s also worth remembering some animals and fish can be both during their life span .
Human beings are one of the oddest things on our planet , we are the only ones that express gender dysphoria , it’s not surprising considering how complex our brain is , I’m no longer surprised how our wiring is different in each of us .
On a daily basis I’ve realsied there is very little difference between men and women and that gap is getting smaller because our society has changed over the years . I’m full time as a woman , only I’m aware what is between my legs , it doesn’t worry me either way and it certainly doesn’t worry the vast majority I meet of either gender . So labels mean very little to me now , 99% of the time I’m treated as a woman without question , they see enough markers or tell tales to make that quick assumption .
I don’t even think of myself as a trans woman but I know many in the transgender community who make a point of it because it makes them different , they seek attention , I much prefer integration as Teresa .
Again we mustn’t overlook the number of women who wish to be men , I know that’s an alien notion to most of us but they feel exactly as we do they need to align their mind with their body . It would be useful to have a F/M pass comment to your questions , their answers could be quite revealing .
The other point your question revolves around is most of the members here aren’t fulltime , through whatever circumstances they have to maintain a male gender , often this means they question themselves over their needs and true gender . To some this means they must remain in the closet while others have to find the courage to cross the sometimes questionable barrier knowing they must return at some point . I knew I had to cross that barrier , and also knew my bridges were burnt so I no longer have the need to question and explain myself .
I also appreciate there are members of society that totally refuse GD exists , my answer to them is try living with it . The stupid , illogical argument over bathhroom use is often their only argument . Just to repeat a recent post , I was seen by a lady exiting a women’s toilet , she stopped me to ask why , and then said , ” don’t you have a penis ?” I looked her straight in the eye and politely answered that I didn’t . She’s a member of my painting group so we didn’t speak for several weeks , finally this week she came to admire my painting and we had a reasonable conversation about my painting’s location . The point of this story is I quitely stood my ground and carried on behaving as Teresa , so it left her no option but to treat me respecting that eventually .
Am I a man or a woman ? my simple answer to that is I’m Teresa , I now have a passport and driving licence officially stating that .
Most of our barriers are in our own heads , most of society isn’t bothered with our issues , on the whole they don’t like change and they don’t want confrontation , if you wish to go out as a woman read Kandi’s guide , she’s been there and done it mant times .
I’m 76. I first went out enfemme in 1978 or 9 to a house party. Needless to say things have changed since then. Over the years I have met a lot of people in our community. The only people that I care about their opinion is my family and close friends.
For a person to ask a question about your anatomy is really insulting in my opinion.
Life is short, live yours the way you want.
Terri
Trans women or bi gender is my identity because Gwen as you say I am not nor never will be a cis woman and yes I am also good with being trans
No I’m not full time but I too think more in female terms than any cis male would
The issues for us in this community is we are so visible when out in society
Someone who’s gay unless they are with their partner are hidden in plain site so it’s more difficult for us to blend in
I hope someday people will understand we don’t know why we are the way we are we are just people trying to get through life
Gwen,
I think of myself as a woman, within a subset of women called transgender women. I believe I deserve to be treated like a female, because that is how I identify. I have the provilege (which I know is not typical) of being treated like a woman always, except when I am forced to present as “him” obviously. I have already written, however, that I am not delusional; I know I was not AFAB, and I never know what someone thingks about my gender unless they tell me. But the doctors looked only at my genitals when I was born, not my brain, so why is their bried physical observation the “final answer?” In the future, will we have a better way of knowing which gender each human being wishes to express? It would be nice for all of us if we could.
Each of us here is unique. We apply different labels to ourselves and have different needs. What we share in common is a need for this community. We need this community because it is a place where we can express our own feelings (as you and your commentators have done) safely and without fear of retribution. We need a place where we can be free to be ourselves and learn from others, not to become like others, but to become a more authentic version of ourselves.
For that reason, feel free to call me what you will — but always do it with respect for my feelings.
Lisa