Overstepping The Mark?

By Teresa H.

I can’t believe I’m stepping back sixty years to school years when I first started playing tennis, often making the school team playing against other schools. After leaving school I kept in touch with old school friends to continue playing and then after I married joined a tennis club. However like so many things from our youth life starts to get in the way, time and other responsibilities exclude personal leisure activities, not forgetting the real elephant in the room my transgender issues.

Jumping to the present most of you know those issues were finally solved by separation and then divorce to continue my life as Teresa. In the last six years I’ve gradually pushed the envelope to combine my life as a woman with aspects  of my life as a man. From the start that was often the big question “Was it really possible?” Of course there were sleepless nights but time and time again I proved to myself that the thought is often far worse than the deed (as Kandi often shows from her extraordinary life).

So now to pick up the story of playing tennis. The spark came from a leaflet promoting healthy living for the over-sixties and in particular the benefits of playing the game for exercise and companionship. The extra spur came from the husband and wife who live very close to me. I still walk for an hour with Paul and his collie, we became friends very soon after I moved to my new home town and the walk takes us passed their home. As we passed he to me called from his roof terrace to ask for chat, we waited several minutes then his wife appeared. She put her arms round my shoulders, turned to Paul saying, “Excuse us while we have a girl talk”. She started by saying how lovely it was for me to sign up to the group, then hesitated before continuing to ask what restroom facilities I would I prefer to use. I admit at this point I felt very disappointed to be asked this, as the issue had not cropped up in the last six years.

I had to quickly turn the question round in my mind because she wasn’t actually saying I wasn’t welcome and she was asking my preferences rather than telling me them. The other point was that she doesn’t actually know if I’d had surgery, I guess I would have been more upset if I had. We soon resolved it by  agreeing the male facilities would be totally out of the question, we then agreed that as it was the first session let’s see how it goes. Finally I pointed out that if anyone raises an objection my driving license and passport both have my female name and the female gender, I’m so glad I bit the bullet and made those changes now.

So onto the day itself, first of all the question arose of what to wear, I’d popped along to SportsDirect to buy tennis shoes, socks, sports bra and two skorts, one white pleated and the other a tighter black one. I tried them in the store and preferred the black one but on trying at home I realised even when tucked you could see a bulge. So off I set wearing my white skort and white T-shirt with a red gilet (because as usual it was raining. I walked in to be warmly greeted by everyone, did the formal signing in and chatted, one remarked on my gilet. I was the only one wearing a skort but discovered that many thought I was one of the team because of what I was wearing. I was chatting with a group of girls about not being sure what to wear, they all agreed with my legs they wouldn’t hesitate in wearing a skirt. (Yes women do notice these things!)

Did I enjoy my day? No question, I’m booked (and hooked) for the following Tuesday and I’ve already been earmarked to make the numbers up in a team in the future. As for the question of restrooms, the toilets weren’t a problem as they’re separate, OK taking a shower, watch this space!!

The title I settled for this post was “Overstepping The Mark?” I admit it did feel like that when the wife had the conversation but from her angle she needed to know the facts just in case. Afterwards I remembered I’d run short of milk so still wearing my tennis gear I popped into the nearest supermarket, I got some lovely smiles. I have to admit it feels so good to have taken the chance even at 73, it brought back so many memories.