Lost in The (Pink) Fog

This might be the least interesting post I have written. But for me, it is the ideal morning. October 12, 2025, I simply went to Sunday services. Excluding the commute, the whole shebang was about an hour and a half. I had not been there since July, but every time I am there, I am made to feel so welcome. People walk out of their way to greet me, most of the ladies give me a hug. I am always complimented on my outfit. I love the specific ones (“I love your bracelets!”). I relaxed like I cannot do anywhere else, in any other circumstance, I simply “was”. A day in a skirt is like no other!

I did a quick photoshoot outside the closed mall on my way to services. I (yes, I do have my vices) picked up some vodka on the way home to allow me to stomach another Clowns loss in Pittsburgh (how can you call something a “rivalry” when one team shits themselves time and time again, for decades?). When I got home, I did what I call a Purge 30. Thirty things from Kandi’s vast wardrobe had to go to Goodwill. We are turning one bedroom into a necessary nursery, so Kandi’s storage space is somewhat diminished. Having done this maybe, maybe, I got rid of less that 1% of the female things I own. I am in the long process of winnowing down things into storage areas in the house that will not be inhabited by our children and their families and/or significant others when visiting.

Yes, I swore off going to Erie for many reasons. As I told a friend, money spent at Erie = one happy person (me). Roughly the same amount of money spent on two weekend trips to Chicago to see our grandson = six happy people (the most important of which is my wife). Pretty simple math, right? Well, my amazing friend from the land of Josh Allen and a real football team, offered to house me for two days. Since the drive for me is only an hour and a half, I accepted and will be there for two days. I am working the evening of the Saturday gala, so I am kinda doing my thing, hosting an annual Friday dinner and will scoot early Saturday. To anyone who cares (literally, why would anyone?), I plan on being there Thursday and Friday. A certain BFF who got the ball rolling on coaxing me there and then almost immediately stiffed me, will be missed!

You recently read my post about feeling trapped. Given current circumstances for me, I decided to push all the chips into the middle of the table, betting on girly girl! October 16, 2025, I assemble literally the most feminine and female (anatomically) outfit/look as I am capable of. My own hair. Pink, pink, pink. Legs. legs, legs. Heel, ruffle socks, hair bow, a short skirt and spending time in ultra-feminine places. Body parts almost literally, short of surgery, transitioned (my business here).

My day was two things, the photo shoot you will see here and the mall. Went in Pink. Tried on a dress but it was unforgiving. Went to Victoria’s Secret. Nothing. Then to David’s Bridal. They know me there. My knees still buckle when they say “she” or “her”. Having an SA zip me up, still awesome! One lovely red gown hanging in my closet for $15, discount after discount. Then to Dry Goods, home of the girliest girly things you have seen me wearing here. Love this place. I walk in and ask where the 75% off rack is. I grab a handful of dresses, sweaters, skirts and have some fun. The most adorable sweater vest and “junior” vintage rose dress with ruffle sleeves also now hang in my closet, each for less that that David’s gown!

I walked all over the place. My intent was to be cutey cute, pink and no detail missed. Wow, did I crush that! No adverse, even slightly, feedback. Compliment after compliment, “cute” being used by most. I am now hunkering down for two consecutive fashion shows and then Grandpa time! We get to meet in person, our grandchild.

Trapped? Yes, I am. Blessed? Beyond words. Conflicted? Always.

How’d we do this day?

Attractive? Obviously not. Happy? Like you cannot imagine. Comfortable out? Never gave it a thought.

As this post runs, I am enroute to Chicago to meet our Grandson. I want to thank everyone for their comments on the “Trapped” post this past Wednesday. That is the community that we are and that I am so proud of. Thank you all!