Special.
Fulfilling.
Exhausting.
Redeeming. July 26, 2024 a now friend had reached out to me a month or so back to meet. She had been to Keystone and apparently it was recommended she should meet me (we both live in the Cleveland area). So this was the day. Since I am now basically either driving a truck or going to the office during the week, this was an office day. And since I get to be whoever I want, it was a Kandi day.
Right. So I worked for about five hours, just doing whatever I needed to do, interacting with Sherri (not THAT Sherry) and taking care of business, so to speak. Then I took off with time to kill, so I simply walked around the mall near the restaurant and headed to a very favorite spot at the restaurant where I was meeting my friend, a frequent hang out.
Amazing. Well I ended up seated at the bar for over four hours because my friend was about an hour late. No problem, but I don’t want you to think I am (any more of) a lush (than you already think of me). Jackie and I got to know each other at what at the time was an empty bar. I had consumed a number of Happy Hour cocktails while waiting and interacting with other patrons. I told Jackie about my history there. I have probably been there at least 20 times and I cannot think of a time (and I am often there by myself) when I did not have significant interaction with others, usually leaving with hugs from many that were previously strangers and with new numbers in my phone. Not more than a few hours later, exactly what I told Jackie happened: new friends made, hugs from someone I did not previously know and a new number in my phone. Yes, it was a wonderful experience, but the hangover lingered the next day more than I wanted…
Confusing.
Work. July 27, 2024, another same sort of outing. A friend, Paula, reached out with a rare window to get out and wanted a “safe” space. So despite my personal dislike for not mainstreaming, we met at Studio West 117, the LGBT center where I recently had to endure the most inappropriate music (okay for the venue otherwise) at a business networking function. Plus she needed to meet late so we set an 8:00 meeting time with the warning I would have to scoot around 10:30 due to my need to be smart (long drive home, way past my bedtime, after a cocktail or two). I was simply not looking forward to going out, happy to see Paula, just not feeling it. It took me quite a while to get ready, to even begin the process. To stretch the day, I took a bag full of dresses I recently purchased that were of a similar style to the one you see me wearing here and basically traded them for longer, more age appropriate dresses. It was just great fun gathering a number of dresses, commandeering a fitting room, modeling for the SAs and making my swap. I went to a few more places and just being a girl…
Affirming. Paula showed up later than discussed, which I understood, but it left me sitting alone for quite a while. Strangely, in an LGBT circumstance, that usually means I am indeed alone, almost ignored. In a mainstream setting like the one described above, I would almost always make a friend or two. No real big story here, just two friends yelling at each other over the loud (and quite good) music from a concert on the roof top trellis and the loud (and wretched) music from the drag show that contained more drag queens than people watching, which included me who was definitely not watching. It is simply nice to get to know someone with shared experiences and, shall we say, common proclivities. I enjoyed her company very much.
Me. Two circumstances with other ladies, just being.
3 Responses
As always, Kandi, it is so affirming to see others reaching out to you for support and visibility. Your dresses are lovely – we all should have at least one in our wardrobe that is “young”!
When I was meeting others from the transgender /CDers community I found time had to be very flexible , I remember those days when things always take longer than expected , saying that if I state a time I will be there , I guess that goes back to my self employed days when appointments had to be respected .
I did have one friend from those days who did stretch the limits , our usual social meetings were 7.30.p.m. but time after time she would ring to ask if she could be at my home for 2.00.p.m. to get ready . At first I was OK with that and usually I provided a meal when she was ready but after a while I had to make it clear that I didn’t always have five hours to spend with her , at that she moved on , only to discover she did the same thing with several people and always with the same outcome
Thoughts on hem lengths , I still prefer my hem line on or just below the knee but not calf length ( obviously the style could make a difference ). Sometimes we can have a problem with our hem lines rising , I find if I’m not careful when sitting painting at my easel with my group I become so preoccupied that my I’m showing more leg than intended , which must be a very interesting view from the front as you can only see my lower half because my upper body is hidden behind the work on my easel . The usual comment is , ” why worry with legs like yours !”
When I met another CD for the 1st time in 1977 or 8 it. I had found about crossdressing parties not far from me through the bulletin board at Lee Brewster’s on 10th Ave in NYC. The parties were in a private house. The 1st person I had a conversation with had a very similar occupation as I. That party changed my life. I realized I wasn’t alone.