In the profound depths of despair, when the world seems to collapse inward and the thought of suicide looms as the only escape, it is crucial to remember a fundamental truth about the universe: the law of polarity.
This principle asserts that for every extreme, an opposite must exist—light to dark, up to down, good to bad. For those in the transgender community, who often face disproportionate levels of discrimination, misunderstanding, and violence, the weight of such experiences can feel unbearable, pushing individuals to the brink.
Yet, if the pain is so immense, so all-consuming, then by the very nature of existence, an equally profound opposite—of joy, acceptance, and belonging—must also be within reach.
As you read this, my aim is to illuminate this inherent balance, urging those contemplating suicide to recognize the potential for an opposite reality and to embark on the vital journey of discovering it.
👉The law of polarity is not merely a philosophical concept; it is an observable truth woven into the fabric of reality.
Just as a magnet has two poles, or a day is defined by the presence of night, every experience, every emotion, every state of being inherently contains its antithesis.
If one experiences profound sadness, the capacity for profound joy exists. If one feels utterly lost, the potential for finding one’s true path is equally present.
The universe, in its intricate design, demands this balance. It cannot sustain an extreme without the counterbalancing force of its opposite. Therefore, if your current reality feels so overwhelmingly negative that it suggests an end, this very intensity is a testament to the equally powerful, positive opposite that awaits your discovery.
For members of the transgender community, the journey can be particularly fraught with challenges. The struggle for identity, the pain of dysphoria, the societal pressures, and the often-hostile environments can create an overwhelming sense of isolation, loneliness and hopelessness.
These are extreme negative poles of human experience. However, according to the law of polarity, the very existence of such intense suffering implies the existence of equally intense joy, affirmation, and self-actualization.
If there is profound rejection, there must be profound acceptance. If there is deep dysphoria, there is the potential for profound euphoria and alignment with one’s true self. Your current pain, while valid and immense, is not the *only* reality. It is one pole, and your inherent worth and potential for a fulfilling life represent the other.
But Gwen, what can I do about it?
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Your “job,” then, is not to deny the pain, but to actively seek out and cultivate its opposite.
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This is a courageous act of self-preservation and self-discovery. It involves reaching out for support—to affirming friends, family, mental health professionals, or LGBTQ+ community resources. It means exploring gender-affirming care, finding spaces where your identity is celebrated, and allowing yourself to envision a future where you are not just surviving, but thriving.
The path to finding this opposite may be challenging, requiring resilience and patience, but it is a path that leads away from despair and towards a life rich with meaning, connection, and authentic self-expression.
Your life holds immense value, and the universe, through the law of polarity, assures you that the opposite of your current struggle is not only possible but waiting to be found.
Embrace the journey, for your true self, and a life of profound joy, are worth fighting for.
If you know of anyone you feel may be in this deep, dark place, please share this with them.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
5 Responses
Gwen,
My first question is this piece written from personal experience ? Have you ever experienced total rejection where the black hole gets ever deeper ? As with all black holes everything else has already been swallowed up and you are hanging on by a thin thread , is the easiest option to cut that thread ? What was is that finally saved you ?
When I told my wife , I hoped we might find a way to deal with it tegether , After a couple of weeks it became clear she couldn’t deal with it she built a wall to hide behind , every attempted converastion added more bricks to that wall The feeling of rejection and the lose of her love and support was unbearable I ahd no where to turn and no one to talk to . Then one day I was waiting at a junction for a large dump truck to pass and in that momeny my foot slid off the brake pedal , some where inside that thin thread appeared , a voice from within shook my to my senses by telling me I had no right to put the truck driver and his family through my thoughless actions .
My one consolation was my actions weren’t premediated , in that moment I realised whatever I was going through wasn’t worth the loss of my life . I found the strength to ride above my wife’s lack of rejection and seek professional help . Gradually I began to find ME , what made me tick , the fact that I began to believe in myself gave me reason to live my life my way .
I have mixed feelings about my wife’s rejection , on the one hand I understand her reasons but on the other I can’t believe someone I loved and thought loved me could drive me to such exteme behaviour , I may never forget but I’m also a forgiving person . The outcome was the damage was too great to repair we had to go our separate ways , I know she now regrets her actions , she lost more than me because I rescued my life to start again as Teresa .
To answer your question I proved suicide is not the answer but sadly some aren’t as lucky as me .They leave behind so many regrets from people who should have been there to support them and now they have to live with that .
Teresa,
No I’ve never had the desire to go to that extreme. Your story is touching. Sadly some don’t catch themselves in time as you did and it’s too late.
My wife and I just celebrated our 35th anniversary. We are more friends than lovers although she’s dealing with Alzheimer’s. That’s a whole other dynamic to deal with. I’ll stay with her and support her always. She gave me two wonderful children.
I’m saying that because you shared your relationship issue and it’s common. The wife married a guy and are attracted to a guy. It’s too much to ask to change that for some.
Thanks for sharing.
G.
Gwen ,
Sorry about the typos , I’m sure you can appreciate it was written from deep down .
I’ve been at that point where it’s really hard to see those moments of connection, self-acceptance, and peace. The ones that make you realize it’s worth sticking around to find more. I love this reminder for myself, and I hope anyone who needs it can hang on long enough to reach their other pole.
Michelle,
Life is a gift and it’s always worth it to stick around. Find your purpose. Something greater than yourself. That always helps.
G