August 4, 2024 farewell John and Deeanne. You will forever be missed!
John had been pastor of this congregation for thirty years and is, as of the actual date of this post, retired. I have talked at length here about this being the single place I would go (as Kandi) if I only got to chose one place. No question, no hesitation, at least when John was pastor. Deanne and I are also friends, she is John’s wife.
This was a Saturday evening celebration of them both. I had quite a bit of extra time on this day, so took my time getting ready and did a bit of an extended photo shoot. The title of this post has two meanings, one is obvious, the other was a compliment I received during the post-service reception. A woman said I looked glorious! I got quite a few compliments as well as some compliments on my last dress that I wore there (the white dress with red accents).
It was a brutally hot and humid day and guess what? The church has no air conditioning. On top of all of it, the place was packed. I held in fairly well for about an hour and a half, but spent the last half hour standing in the back, near the door to a slight breeze. It was just so heartwarming to hear the lovely music and the awesome tributes.
After the service there was a reception where I talked and talked and talked with so many. I ended up one of the last people to leave, ending my night sitting with two other ladies just talking. It was a glorious evening. A very happy sadness as these wonderful human beings will no longer be in my life, happy for the next chapter of their lives, the obvious sadness that those Sunday mornings being filled with joy will be very difficult to replace. Before you say you can still keep in touch with them, I am a realist. Plus, they are no longer allowed back in the church as it will be someone else’s congregation so it is preferred the retired pastor allow the new one to make the place his or her own.
I made one request of both John and Deanne. Take a selfie with me and allow me to post it here. PLEASE remember, it was wickedly hot and these photos were taken about four hours into a steamy (literally) service and evening. John on the left, Deanne on the right. Yes, I look awful. I didn’t want to tie them up too long and my hands in selfie mode don’t function, so it was one shot each. Not great pictures, amazing memories!
I love you both!
On another sad personal note, I want to recognize the passing of Billy Bean. Billy was Major League Baseball’s Senior Vice President of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion, who passed away at his home on Tuesday after an 11-month battle with acute myeloid leukemia. Bean, who was diagnosed last September, was 60 years old. His decision to retire at the age of 31 wasn’t easy, but he decided that living as a closeted baseball player was untenable, and he believed that neither he nor the game was ready for an openly gay player. It wasn’t until 1999, more than three years after his final game, that Bean came out, becoming only the second player ever to do so. (Glenn Burke, who retired in 1979 and came out in 1982, died in 1995.)
Read more about this brave soul here.
I was blessed to have met Billy in 2019 and could not have been more honored to have done so.
15 Responses
Kandi,
All we can do is accept some great people filled a void in your life and brought you joy and happiness . i guess it’s something we learn to accept as we get older , the people that sail into our lives change tack and drift out of our lives , leaving you with the wonderful gift of memories . I find there is always a down side , we wonder what their replacements will be like , sometimes they leave a seamless transition and carry on the good work and other times they have the desire for change and often destroy the previous good work . It is sad on occasions when one person forces the decision never to return to the venue even in religious circumstances .
How cruel illness can be but again you found time to support Billy as much as you could before his passing , I have a GG friend who battled cancer once only to have it return , she loves her art so I give my time to her so she can enjoy that love before she finally loses the battle .
Unfortunately for me I only met Billy the one time, but very honored that I had that opportunity.
Kandi,
Thanks for sharing a truly memorable time.
I remember Pastor John and I really enjoyed being at one of his services. He will be missed, a lot.
Jocelyn
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Kandi, your friendship with John and Deanne is heart-warming and meaningful. To be a part of a celebration of so many years as pastor of that church is joyous. I love your dress!
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Kandi,
I too met Billy once. His story is inspiring, including not only his gay identity, but also his use of sabermetric principles (as described in the book Moneyball) that forever changed how baseball teams value players and build a winning squad. Thank you for the remembrance and the nice photo of you with Billy.
I also appreciate the effort you have made to honor your pastor and his wife who have exemplified inclusivity. We all need to feel that kind of love.
Lisa
Kandi gently corrected me. We met two different Billy Bean baseball legends!
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As my mother (she is over 103 y.o.) has been saying for decades, time for some younger friends. I have lost one friend this summer, and a long time friend just told me he has a non-cancerous growth in his neck that is threating his voice. Cherish the memories of your friendship with John and Deanne. Ad stay strong>
Cali
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I know how you feel girl. Being 74 and fortunately healthy I have lost too many old friends some from my childhood. And all my family but one brother.
Thankfully I have many very close new friends especially the girls here in Kandi’s Land and others from the three trans social groups that I found thanks in no small part from you taking me under your wing Kandi.
Trish ❤️
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What a wonderful outfit and I completely agree with the lady who said you look glorious in that dress. I’m sorry about the loss of those wonderful friends. I hope I never take for granted the wonderful friendships I have.
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