Hate isn’t something we naturally choose—it’s often programmed into us from the moment we’re born. It seeps into our lives through the stories we’re told, the fears we’re taught, and the invisible walls we construct to create a false sense of ‘us’ versus ‘them.’
The hate/racist merchants (pimps) in the media and elsewhere, know human nature. With increasing scarcity for viewership, they must stir up hate where none exists. They prey on our base instinct insecurities and our desire to gravitate towards negativity for their own gains. As long as there are humans, there will always be hate, racism, _____phobia, and more.
However, we as a species have evolved past much of it. No longer is it acceptable in social circles. But they do it anyway, because it gets clicks and eyeballs on them. Others use it to gain power by manipulating fear.
But hate doesn’t have to be the end of our story….
As human beings, we possess an extraordinary power: the ability to change. We can unlearn the harmful beliefs and biases ingrained in us and replace them with compassion, empathy, and understanding.
It’s not easy, and it takes effort, but the potential to rewrite our inner dialogue is within us all. It starts by awareness that it’s happening. Then by choice to change the person in the mirror.
It starts with small steps—questioning what we’ve been told, exposing ourselves to new perspectives, listening without judgment, and choosing connection over division.
Every conscious choice to understand, every moment of choosing love over hate, chips away at the walls that divide us. Hate may not be a choice we made, but choosing to *un-hate* is one we can embrace. Let’s learn to change the narrative, together.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
3 Responses
Hi Gwen:
I believe we need to be constantly aware of the simple truth that you have so articulately presented here. Your words also remind me that your observation and philosophy is shared in the song “You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught” from “South Pacific” (Rogers and Hammerstein, 1958)
You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear
You’ve got to be taught from year to year
It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear
You’ve got to be carefully taught
You’ve got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made
And people whose skin is a different shade
You’ve got to be carefully taught
You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late
Before you are six or seven or eight
To hate all the people your relatives hate
You’ve got to be carefully taught
You’ve got to be carefully taught
In this season and going forward I pray that we humans may one day break the cycle.
All the best,
Kris
Gwen,
Can we turn the other cheek , or should we ? As humans we are our own worse enemy because we can communicate on so many levels . Much of the animal kingdom doesn’t have that problem , survival is on a more basic level words do not harm them like they do in humans . I believe that is the crux of the problem , we use words like weapons , what we often fail to see that point they are only WORDS ! We need to educate ourselves and know when to walk away from the intended pain BUT do we ? How many times have we thrown those barbs back hoping we inflict deeper pain , an argument can only happen if both participate . Most of us are intelligent enough to know there are alternatives , we are also capable of diffusing a situation as well as feeding the fire .
For many years I would walk my dog cursing my wife , I eventually realised she was conditioned to inflict pain without realising it , she really was a chip off the old block . Her father would usually start his morning with and argument with someone , even an innocent party , it gave him a high to start his day . They assumed it would all be forgotten in a short time but failed to realise it built HATE in others which accumulated their own hate and fear .
I fear it is too late for me to change , in the daytime I’m totally happy and at peace with the World but my dreams often turn to nighmares , I have so many people from my past I do battle with , am I trying to right those wrongs or seek revenge ?
HATE is only a word but I’m afraid it’s part of human nature , we will never rid the World of it , humans never learn !
Those are powerful words and something to be constantly reminded of and try to neither give nor take offense when it’s just words, even though it’s not as easy as it sounds. Thank you Gwen, I always enjoy the deep thoughts and wisdom you share.