As a transgender woman, I’ve spent years navigating a world that seems determined to box us into narrow, sensationalized stereotypes. The media, celebrities, and even well-meaning events often reduce what it means to “be” transgender to flashy caricatures—think drag queens strutting on stage or the chaotic energy captured in viral clips from Pride parades. Don’t get me wrong: I celebrate diversity in our community, but these portrayals miss the mark on who most of us truly are.
The reality? The vast majority of trans folks, like myself, are what I’d call “normal trans.” We’re not chasing a trend or a “lifestyle”—this is our authentic life choice, a deeply personal journey toward living as our true selves. We’ve transitioned not for attention or spectacle, but for peace, alignment, and the simple right to exist without constant scrutiny.
We go to work, pay our bills, build families, and contribute to our communities just like anyone else.
Over the years, I’ve attended hundreds of drag shows and have nothing but love and respect for my friends who are performers. Drag is an incredible art form—vibrant, creative, and empowering. It’s entertainment, a performance that highlights exaggeration and flair. But it’s not synonymous with being transgender. Conflating the two does a disservice to both: it undermines the artistry of drag and oversimplifies the lived experiences of trans people.
Take the recent MTV Video Music Awards, for example. Sabrina Carpenter’s performance featuring drag queens was undoubtedly eye-catching, but it reinforced this tired trope. Too often, mainstream media defaults to shock value—throwing in elements that grab headlines, rack up views, and generate “free” publicity through controversy. While it might boost ratings in the moment, it leaves lasting damage. It perpetuates the idea that trans identity is all about extravagance, rebellion, or provocation, making it harder for everyday trans individuals to be seen as… well, everyday people.
This misrepresentation fuels misunderstandings, discrimination, and even danger for those of us just trying to live quietly and authentically. We want to be good neighbors, supportive friends, and productive members of society—without having to constantly explain or defend our existence against these skewed images. It’s time for more nuanced representation: stories of trans doctors, teachers, artists, and parents who are thriving in their “normal” lives.
If you’re trans and reading this, know you’re not alone in feeling this way. And if you’re not, I hope this opens your eyes to the broader spectrum of our experiences. Let’s amplify real voices and challenge these stereotypes together. 💜
One Response
Gwen,
Perhaps we can consider the phrase , ” Staying under the radar !” In reality it’s the people who want to be seen and at times we may question ” What as ?” At one time I found drag interesting but it’s been ramped up so much by the media I find it hard to understand , overything is OTT including the bad language , sorry I’m not a prude I’m simply living and enjoying my life as a woman . If people think I’m a drag act then they might get a few choice words from me , it really is the difference between chalk and cheese . At the same time staying under the radar doesn’t mean I don’t get noticed but I get to choose the right time and place .
We can’t take away the demand , so we will still live with stereotypes , ” Live and let live !” Umh ! Perhaps not in my backyard and that’s part of the problem , some of it is crap and it gets dumped where people don’t want it , annoyingly we appear to get less of a choice , we just can’t control the flytippers .
Being transgender is a way of life perhaps I should add a NORMAL way of life , we have the right to defend it , we have the right like anyone else to say NO . Respect us for what we are , we contribute to society , I am PROUD of what I am because I can give that little bit extra , I have strengths where many others don’t .