A Day in the Life, Part 1

By Tina Davis

“I read the news today, oh boy

About a lucky man who made the grade

And though the news was rather sad

Well, I just had to laugh

I saw the photograph”

These lyrics by John Lennon are deep and meaningful as well as personally inspiring. I do consider myself lucky, but there has been a lot of sad news lately in my life. My father was nearing the end of his life, robbed of his mind and body by dementia. He was at his home under hospice care, cared for mostly by my mother. Both I and my sister visited as regularly as we can, and she decided to stay and assist as long as she is needed. He passed away peacefully on March 26.

So, I had planned for some time out dressed before heading to a major event held in Boston. My wife was already there volunteering, and I was not needed on the weekend. I desperately needed to give myself a chance to be happy for a day, and Tina is my outlet for that. Here is the day I spent completely in female mode, with all the ups and downs I experienced.

March 23, 2025, began with me waking up in my nightgown. Putting on a robe (no wig or makeup yet), I went downstairs to feed the cats. One cat has no problem with me dressed, but the other is very skittish when Tina is visible and often runs away. But this was food, so she waited for her bowl.

I had visited my father the day before, and he was not doing well, but there was nothing more I could do for him. Feeling sad, I had looked for a welcoming church earlier in the week and found several that are “Open and Affirming” in their support for LGBTQ+ people. My own church is one of them, but I wanted a new place where I could be welcomed for the woman I was presenting, not the man they all know.

I decided on a church in a neighboring town that was not too close but looked very welcoming on its website. So, I got cleaned up and dressed in a black top with lace across the shoulders, a black floral skirt, and my black boots. After taking several pictures, I put on my black coat and sunglasses, as it was a cold but sunny day, and headed out the door for a 10 AM service.

The church is in the center of the town on a hill, with a series of colorful chairs on the front grass. I parked across the street and braved the wind to get to the entrance. I was initially welcomed by an usher and given a program. I wanted to have some time before the service to sit with my thoughts, so I found a pew where I was visible but alone for a few moments. After a minute or two, two women sat next to me, and more of the congregation started filling up the pews around us.

I noticed one of the pastors (turned out to be the senior pastor) coming down the aisle and greeting people. She saw me and immediately welcomed me to the church with a big smile. I said “Thank you” in a softer voice with a small smile. I’m not really trying for a female voice, just using a softer tone and a slight upturn in pitch. I find that is enough, as my regular voice is somewhat deep and resonant.

Once the service started, I saw three women and one man on the altar, and I looked at the program to see that the youngest woman and the man were pastoral residents. All four had roles in the service, along with the head of Christian education for the church. The associate pastor told a story about a local woman who came to the church because her husband had just passed away, and he always walked past the church to and from work. Hearing about the love and support she gave to this family, including having the memorial there the previous week, made me feel that I made the right decision coming. I was also sad in thinking of my father’s impending passing and how much I needed the same things.

At the passing of the peace, I greeted several people around me, none of whom showed any concern over my presentation or presence as a newcomer. The service was full of love and brought tears to my eyes on a couple of occasions. I was hesitant to go to the coffee time afterwards, but I did want to speak with the associate pastor, Stacy. I walked up the aisle, where I was greeted by the young female pastoral resident. She was so nice and asked if she could give me a hug, which I readily accepted.

I moved on toward Stacy, when the senior pastor (Sarah) met me and again gave me a warm welcome. I indicated why I wished to talk with Stacy, and Sarah took my hand and led me to her associate. I explained to Stacy why I was there, and she asked right away if she could pray with me, which I accepted. She took my hands, and we shared a beautiful moment, after which I cried again. She offered me a gift from the church, which I declined (how would I explain it at home), and she was completely understanding of my reluctance to join the group in the coffee room.

After my father’s passing, I sent Stacy an email thanking her for her support, and she responded with even more love. I am planning to return to this church in late April, when my next multi-day opportunity is expected.

But there was a lot more to that particular Sunday, which I will detail in my next post. I’ll give you a preview: Shopping and Restaurants! And a lot more acceptance, too.

Hugs, Tina