My wife loves to remind me: “They’re staring at you.” And guess what? She’s absolutely right. When you’re 6’6” in heels and sailing on the MSC World America, blending in just isn’t in the cards.
But here’s my motto:
👉Gwen don’t blend.😎
Being transgender, I used to wonder if I should tone it down, try to disappear, or be more “average.” But honestly—why be average when you can be remarkable? I’m an Amazon Queen. Unique. Different.
These days, I feel like a unicorn in a world of average, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I stand tall (literally and figuratively), and I invite the stares with a smile. I tower above the crowd and get, “OMG”, “Holy Sh*T!”, and cards on the table? Snickers, chuckles and smirks sprinkled in with hatred from a few.
It’s fine by me. I don’t judge. “This is the world I’ve chosen, get over it” as my friend Annie Smith says.
Confidence is so friggin’ sexy.
Confidence isn’t about never feeling self-conscious; it’s about loving yourself enough to shine anyway. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the bravest thing you can do is be unapologetically yourself.
You don’t need permission to stand out, and you’re not on this journey to blend in. Embrace the quirks, celebrate the differences, and walk through life like the masterpiece you are.
So here’s to everyone who’s ever felt “too much” or “not enough.” You are exactly as you should be. Find your inner confidence, rock your heels high (literally or figuratively), and let them stare—because you, my friend, are remarkable.
Dr. Gwen Patrone
6 Responses
Gwen,
At 6′ 6″ you don’t have a choice and it’s great you have wife who can live with the fallout good or bad .
Perhaps I should feel slightly insulted or put down by your comments but no way do I feel that way . At 5′ 7″ and weighing 150lbs I love being able to integrate , being part of society and accepted as one of the girls . I take care as I dress with a thought for others , I don’t look for comments at the same time I don’t get sniggers or finger pointing . I fought for so many years to find this happy place and become a person everyone knows as Teresa . It’s not a game to me it’s for the rest of my life which means I have to find a balance that works .
Gwen,
I am the same height as you and 3” heels put me at 6’ 6”. I know I stand out in a crowd, but I can’t change my height, nor my overall look.
I completely agree with you. We have to confidently go into the world as who we are.
This post of yours is a great companion piece to the one I posted two days ago. I present to the world my genuine self. I’m proud of the way I look. I’m not like anyone else. I wonder if Kandi put the two of our posts close together for a reason?
Thanks Gwen for a great pep talk; be yourself and fully enjoy it.
Jocelyn
I’m definitely still in the “don’t look at me” stage — and honestly, I kind of like that. At 5’9″, I can usually fly under the radar, and that works for me right now.
The kind of confidence you describe? I do have that… but mostly in my creativity. That’s where I feel bold. Visible. Me.
So maybe that’s the version I lean into — not disappearing, just showing up in the way that feels most true. 💜
My posts about the 5 days in April show that I’m not concerned about how I’m seen when I go out. Whether it’s a casual skirt and flats, or a dress and 3-4″ heels, I am very comfortable in my presentation. I’ve always said I’m 5’9″, but the doctor’s office measured me this time at 5’8.25″ – aging is catching up with me again!
Thanks Gwen for your encouraging words as a closet CD one my biggest worries is my height at 6’2” I already stand out just in flats and I’m finding myself constrained to get over this hurdle I know it’s a mindset that I need to work on but your words of encouragement and positivity has sparked a little something in me to embrace who I am and enjoy it thanks for making my day.
Gwen,
I see those stares
I have been wearing 4+ inch heels almost all the time for over a decade now. I use to hide my heels with long pants, etc. I made a conscience effort enjoy my heels. I spend too much money to get great heels to then hide them. I wear them with full confidence. I enjoy having great footwear. I wear heels, get over it (and I know you are most likely envious, too).
Same thing with my nails. I know both my fingernails and toenails get seen all the time, 3 compliments just today food shopping. Long, shiny, colorful and of course exquisite. (Hey, I’m vain, if I going to own nails, then they have to be exquisite. Plus they really make my ex-wife jealous.)
I like to see the expressions on people’s faces as I pass by them, especially older adults and teen girls.
Confidence in yourself is essential.
PS. Tina – welcome to getting older, one time 5’10+”, I am now 5′ 8.5″