The Epic Parallel Universe of Football and Makeup Application
It’s NFL championship Sunday tomorrow. My mind wanders, as it often does, asking myself how can these two seemingly different tasks compare. Oh, sit back and read the Dr. Gwen freaky brain at its finest…
Ladies and gentlemen, gather ’round and lend me your ears, for I, Dr. Gwen, am here to unveil the astonishing, totally serious comparison between the great world of football and the art of makeup application.
Yes, you heard it right! We’re talking about touchdowns and touch-ups, all in one playbook!
Let’s journey to the magical land of football, where pre-game rituals reign supreme. Players stretch, strategize, and form human pyramids in huddles, getting ready to win glory.
Now, flip the page to makeup, where we prime, moisturize, and possibly do ceremonial face yoga, ensuring our skin is smoother than a freshly Zamboni-ed ice rink.
Both require intense prep: one for the field, the other for the face. Yet, spoiler alert, neither involves an actual ball. Next up, the tools of the trade! Football warriors have helmets, cleats, and, who could forget, those snazzy shiny pants.
Meanwhile, makeup maestros wield brushes, palettes, and eyeliner that could double as a dagger. Both are armed to the teeth, prepared for beauty blitzes and blitz defenses.
Heaven forbid a smudged lip or a faulty helmet—disaster on both fields of battle.
Let’s talk about the all-important game plan.
Coaches scribble playbooks full of secret plays while makeup gurus follow tutorials, mastering the art of the ever-elusive perfect winged eyeliner. One has players running L-shaped routes; the other has eyeshadow following the intricate crescent roll method.
Each movement is calculated, mysterious, and sure to wow the crowd.
Ah, the spectators!
In football, they are loud, proud, and possibly painted in wild colors. In makeup, the audience is your reflection, phone camera, or bestie’s discerning eye. And just like the game’s crowd, these spectators can make or break a look with one sigh or like—or maybe a “Did you mean to do that?”
And then, the climax—(uhhh), touchdowns and reveals!
A player crosses the end zone, a flurry of confetti and cheering erupts. Similarly, when that foundation is slaying and the contour is sharper than a linebacker’s tackle, the selfies commence, and the claps echo through likes and shares.
Finally, as every game must end, so must the glam session. Post-game analysis for footballers involves reviewing footage and reliving glory or bloopers. Makeup lovers remove their art with wipes and gentle regretting over any color mismatch. Lessons for the next masterpiece on the field or face are internalized.
So there you have it, my friends. Whether you’re throwing a pigskin or blending in a new shade of blush, you’ll see the heart, effort, and sometimes hilarity behind every action.
Remember, whether catching a pass or perfecting that cat-eye, it’s all about teamwork, strategy, and of course, a little extra concealer!
Dr. Gwen Patrone
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