Your Wiggle and Some Fun

I always learn something when Julie posts!

A couple weeks ago, I ran across this post in a Genderfluid Facebook group. 

“A euphoria idea for those that are AMAB and still trying to understand your fem side, and feel it…. and maybe an idea for AFAB trying to find masc.  

First, for those exploring fem, and trying to manifest and feel it physically.  Find an extra belt.  Find the top of your hip bones.  Put the belt on just Over the top of your hip bones, and tighten it… not a lot, just enough so you can feel that outline, but still comfortable. 

That is where women measure their waist.  In fact, that’s were high waisted pants for women will sit.  Think of that as your pivot point… not your hips.  So if you want to move your hips, this is the pivot point… not your hips.  If you don’t want the belt to show, wear a sweater over it or something… and feel that sense of waist line above your hips.  Also, imagine your legs start there, not where masc clothing has told you all your life.  This gave me some additional euphoria, I hope it does for you too 🙂

It’s a little harder, oddly, to figure out what to tell AFAB trying to discover masc, because when you live it all your life, you take it for granted….. but here goes.  Try imagining your waist is around your hips, lower, where men’s pants always sit.  There are not men’s high rise jeans.  None.  Imagine the lower hip area as your waist, and your waist doesn’t exist above that.  Might sound weird… but that’s where I always thought my waist was.  Not sure if seeing it that way is helpful, but I hope so, and I hope this idea helps a little on your journey too, to feel more masc when you want to 🙂”

O…M…G!!! This totally works. Okay, I didn’t actually pull out a belt, but this realization that the pivot point for women and men is totally different has been one of those crazy ah ha moments. For so long, I’ve been trying to figure out how to get that feminine movement in my walk and this simple concept might just be the key. I read this just a few days before my most recent outing and my walk went from a forced wiggle to a full on strut. I mean, a full on Taylor Swift strut. Okay, maybe not that good, but I was definitely feeling it so much more than when my pivot point was down at my male waist. Since then, I’ve been practicing in boy mode. Just walking around in my day-to-day life, trying to keep that higher pivot point in mind. Without heels it’s definitely harder to find, but when I do find it, there’s definitely a feel of having more hips than I actually do. The higher pivot point gives more range of motion to the hips, which I suppose is the entire point. It feels so much more natural than trying to push the hips around at that lower pivot point. So, give it a try and let me know if it works for you. 

Switching gears, here’s some recent fun that I’m a bit proud of. Check out this link:

It’s in my cookies, so it shows up in my social media all the time. Now check out the reviews. Yes, that’s your friendly neighborhood Julie – you might remember that pic from a recent post. You think anyone’s noticed? Does it matter? Probably not, but I think it’s super cool to be giving this small bit of representation. But, there’s a big uggh with that review. I had intended to say: “A bit of a risk to order because it’s NOT my usual style.” A bit of an irritating typo, but I was mostly interested in getting the pic up, so it’s a success in my book. 

Oh wait! You’re probably waiting for some pics. Okay, how about this? The last night of my trip to Boston, I met up with my friend Natalie. We met at Gender Shakes in Chicago, but she’s from the northeast, so I invited her to join me. We started the day with a little shopping at the mall. Would have done something more interesting, but it was pouring rain that day, so that seemed like the best option. I tried on this awesome black dress, but didn’t even think about buying it at $249. You might remember this dress from the wigs post of last week. Here’s a better pic of the material.

The material was incredibly delicate and light. So, wearing it felt like a dream. A bit hard to describe, but it gave the sensation floating around. It was intoxicating and I was definitely tempted to throw down the credit card, but quickly came to my senses. But, here’s the take home point. You. Yes, you! You should go shopping and try on dresses that are way outside your budget. It’s great fun and you’ll definitely get some great pics. The sales associates don’t care, especially since there’s the possibility you might buy it, as I almost did. Actually, the SA might suggest finding it online and possibly on sale. That’s definitely happened to me at Nordstrom’s and elsewhere. 

Okay, back to the last night of the Boston trip. The evening plan was to see the musical Hadestown. We had scored obstructed view tickets for $28.50, but still on the main floor. I learned about these tickets, because earlier in the week I was at a bar and talking to a random guy and he said that he just came back from the show with the same tickets – said that the trick was to go to the box office, cuz they’re not available online. So, the next day I went to the theater box office and we were all set. Well not exactly. We still needed dinner reservations. Luckily, I found a seafood restaurant right across the street from the theater, so I made reservations on the spot. Of course, I couldn’t visit Boston without having a lobster – you can see it’s carcass here.

The show was at the Boston Opera House. It’s a beautiful building, but the part I liked best was that the people of Boston seem take the time to dress nice for seeing such a show, unlike other cities where casual seems to be the norm. So, as we were dressed to impress, it seemed like everyone else was out to do the same. Very refreshing. Now, we did get some pics of the ornate building, but I’m guessing you’re more interested in some more Julie pics. So, here’s a couple more sets. They’re actually the same pics – maybe Julie’s getting a bit carried away with her collage app.


2 Responses

  1. Julie, as always your wise words and amazing photos hit the spot!

    I did try the belt thingy but, sadly, there’s rather a lot of, shall we say, excess baggage to deal with before I can fully reap the benefit of your advice. I live in hope though!

    And as for the review pic… I know that our community is notorious for over egging the praise on occasion (or most of the time in places like Flickr where I have lurked) but you looked fantastic. As for whether anyone noticed, I’d go as far as to say that they wouldn’t believe it if they knew the truth and it doesn’t matter if they did. The irony is that that photo does far more to further the trans cause than any number of screaming activists but, because you look so good, very few will realise!

    Merry Christmas to you and your family!

    1. I am showing my age with this comment, but you are “right on” Amanda! Julie (like our godmother Kandi) is an impressive ambassador for fun and frolic in frocks!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Kandi's Recommendations

If you have been looking for an economical permanent hair removal solution, I cannot recommend this highly enough! It costs less than a single session at a laser hair removal place. It is almost completely painless and it actually works! I have been on an eight year quest for something like this!

Featured Posts

Get The Latest Updates

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Sign up for the first look at Kandi’s outfits, blog posts, and product recommendations.

Keep Reading

More From Julie Slowinski